48 Hours Later...

Well, it's been two full days since I've been on my own... so how's it going?

Hmm... "interesting" would be an appropriate term.

After my parents dropped me off, I settled in and started thinking up a plan.

First, knowing I'm going to have to do everything on my own, I need to be efficient. If I go into the kitchen or another room, I need to think what I either need to bring or pick up.

While I need to get up to work the muscles, I also need to rest the knee. It's a strange balancing act... it's beneficial on both fronts.

Of course, I'm enjoying my privacy. It's also great to have total control of the A/C, and the "noise" has been significantly reduced. Because of that, I'm able to sleep better... plus, being in my own bed makes it even better!

Moving around is still cumbersome. I'm using the walker indoors, and the crutches when I go outside.

Yesterday I flirted with the idea of going out to get a newspaper. While I have a subscription, I have put it on hold until May 31st. I didn't think I would be back home this soon. There is a newspaper machine about 200+ yards from my house. If I had two normal working legs, I could probably make it there and back in about 5-7 minutes. However, because it's also across a fairly busy street, I figured I'd better not tempt fate. So my "Sunday Paper" was an online experience.

I did go outside yesterday for about 30 minutes. Like most people in the Metroplex, I have a terrible mosquito problem with all of the recent rains. Knowing I want to sit out there on the patio without getting eaten alive, I sprayed that Cutter Yard Guard all around the backyard. I also filled the bird feeders... which hasn't been done in over a month. As simple as those two tasks were, it occupied about 30 minutes of my time.

I then came back inside and plopped down on the couch - which is pretty much my main activity. I'm being entertained by listening to music, watching shows I've recorded in the past month, and watching the DVDs that friends have provided (Battlestar Gallactica and Eureka). Mike, if you're reading this, "Arrested Development" is next on my list!

Would you believe I've been cooking? Nothing spectacular... but I'm making it happen. I've made a pasta dish with salmon/chicken, sandwiches, and even breakfast (eggs, bacon, etc).

If you can't tell, I'm desperately trying to get back to "normal." Within reason, I'm going to try and do everything to get back into my regular routine. Not only do I think it will help me physically, but mentally... this is very important to me.

My leg still has pain, so I'm taking Tylenol every 4 hours. Yes, I'm off the major pain killers. Yippee Skippy! That's so good on SO many fronts. Ha! However, if I move around too much it lets me know.

When I'm sitting for an extended period of time, I sometimes unwrap the entire leg... that means taking the brace and the ACE bandage off. I can't tell you how good that feels. Speaking of feeling, I've discovered an area on my knee that has ZERO feeling. For those that experience nerve damage, you know what I'm talking about... It's very strange. Not sure if I'll get that back...

The knee? It's still swollen... it's about the size of an orange. That's a huge improvement from some of the pics I've posted, right? Before the surgery, it was about the size of a large grapefruit.

The leg has no strength in it, either. If I lift it when it's unwrapped, I have to by using my hands. My muscles just can't support that... nor can the kneecap. That's where the brace is a huge help.

I've had my moments... the other day I heard a song on the radio that was one of my favorite running tunes. It brought me back, and I happened to look in the mirror. I could see the brace on my leg... and the frustration on my face. However, it has made me want it even more - to get through this with even more determination.

Some people have said I should attempt a marathon after this is over. Others have said I should give it up and find something else. Well, whatever I plan to do, it all begins right now. My only goal in the immediate future is to get strong enough where I don't have to rely on a walker or these crutches.

My body has changed significantly in the past 4 weeks. I've been told by some of the girls that I shouldn't advertise this, but I've lost almost 15 lbs... and that's with me getting on the scale while wearing the brace. It's amazing to me... I get on the scale thinking I haven't exercised and I'm eating some non-healthy foods. Surely I've gained, right?

"Muscle weighs a lot..." Yep, it's mostly the muscle mass. I've always had thick legs - either due to genetics or soccer or who knows what, but they are tremendously diminished. And I guess I don't eat as much as before. So all of that combined has brought me below the 200 lb mark for the first time in I-can't-remember-how-long. Of course, I did cut my hair off... and that alone had to be at least 5 lbs!

So life alone hasn't been too bad... and it's becoming as "normal" as I can make it. Tomorrow I make another big leap - I return to work. I'm going to try and work from home this week. However, maybe next week I can make a return to the office.

Finally, it's been 4 weeks... what a month. Probably the hardest in my entire life (physically). I still can't believe this happened, but I'm continuing on with the attitude that "it is what it is." I'm going to make the best of this, and I will rise from this strengthened physically and mentally. I can promise you that!

My friend Lance has a quote that I first learned from him in college: "If it doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger."

I'm heading to the "stronger" side of life...