Today's Events...

Things are getting interesting in therapy...

When I walked in, Kendra and Cara (Kendra's intern) were at the door to meet me. I knew something was up right then because normally only 1 comes to get me.

Kendra had given Cara more responsibility, so she had to "assess" my condition. This meant watching how I walked in, asking the questions on what was going on (and re-asking as she wants to figure out the source of my discomfort), and then measuring.

They discovered that my bad leg has flattened out to where I'm right at zero degrees. That's good. In fact, to compare against the good knee, apparently I now have more flexibility in the bad leg. (See, I told you I was working hard!)

This allowed me to lose 2 of my exercises: Bridges and Heal Slides! Bridging is actually easy - anyone can do it. You lie on the couch for 10 minutes with your leg propped up on the arm and keep it straight.

But heal slides were terrible... very painful. They were good in that I was able to learn how to bend my knee back. Thank goodness those are finished!

Then they decided to give me more difficult exercises. You see, I thought, "Great... losing 2!" I didn't know I'd gain 2.

One was to lift my body using my hips but to only use one leg while the other one sticks straight out. Holy crapamole that was difficult! And, of course, I was pouring sweat after doing 30 with each leg.

On top of my other exercises, I also had to learn one called Standing Knee Extensions. The photo doesn't really do it justice, but I couldn't find exactly what it was doing.

They attach a long rubber band (thick - it actually was like a balloon) around the ankle of your good leg. Then, you balance on the bad one. The exercises is to face twelve o'clock and extend your good leg forward so it's tensed from behind. You do 30 of those and you're not supposed to drop the attached foot.

Then you turn to your three o'clock. This time the tension is coming from your side while you're balancing. After 30 you turn to the six o'clock and now your pulling from the wall while facing it. Finally, you turn to nine o'clock and pull from the side.

It's freakishly crazy! Why would you work the good leg? Because you're focusing on working the muscles from your butt to your hip to your quads to your calves... all while balancing on that bad leg.

When I was finished I told Cara my whole side was just one big painful mass. Of course, whenever you say something like that they go into a defense mode to figure out if it's a good pain or a bad pain.

So as I was heading to the bike, Kendra goes, "Would you like to try the Elliptical machine?"

Elliptical means "comfort running" in my book. "Of course I would!" I told her.

For those that remember, prior to the surgery, Kendra had me get on the elliptical. Well, it didn't go well. It was painful, I felt like I was locked up, and the more I rode the more it hurt. It was just one big hot mess....

This time: My first 2 minutes were very awkward. There was some pain, but I had a hard time pinpointing where it was or what it was to Cara. She said to shoot for 5 minutes. After about 3 minutes she came back over to check on me and I said it seemed to be getting better.

At 5, since she hadn't come to check on me, I decided to push to 6 minutes. I wasn't feeling the pain like I had earlier. Once I got to 6, she showed up and I told her I was stopping at 7.

Speaking of "hot mess," that's exactly what I looked like. I was pouring sweat - but I felt great! I finally got to do something that was important to my marathon training... and I had done it without feeling locked up.

Now we know why I felt that before - the dang suture was tying me down. Not to mention a kneecap that was riding "sidesaddle" and all of that scar tissue.

Kendra wanted to know how it went. I said, "I would compare it to the first time I was on the bike. It was awkward and tough because I had to learn how to make that rotation and trust my knee. But I think the more I did it, the better I felt."

Both of them were pleased and Kendra wants me to try to go to my gym over the weekend. The goal, like the bike, is to get to 30 minutes without resistance/tension. So I'm going to try for 10 and then make my way up the time frame.

One more thing... I noticed today how much muscle I've lost in the year and a half since I broke the knee. One of the exercises I do, I have to stand facing a mirror. Well, I have always had big calves. I've had them because of all of my years playing soccer.

Today I noticed that my left calf is about 2/3 the size of my right. It's amazing... which, I guess, it's also a measuring stick.

So my events today showed me that my "training" is all about making strides. Getting better at each exercise shows that I can lose some... gain others... and hopefully, life will return to normal.

Oh yeah: If you didn't know this already, today's date is 90210. I just think that's funny.

What's Your Excuse???

Today at Physical Therapy, Kendra saw me attempting to balance for 30 seconds on my one bad leg... shaking uncontrollably... and said,

"I love it when you're shaking!"

Shaking means, "You're doing it!"

I've hit the right spot. I'm working the muscle. And I'm freakin' dying!!!

I love it... too!

I've shared this before, but I'm really fighting for my life here. It's no secret - I want my life back.

It's not all about running...

It's my independence. It's my abilities that I've lost. In essence... it's the "me" that I want back. Senor Independent.

I know what my life was like prior to the break: I was a runner! I was a hiker! I could go up and down stairs without a care in the world. I was active...

I also know what my life was like between the first surgery and the second: Painful! Hinged! Locked up! I couldn't bend the knee without feeling the wires inside. In fact, they poked the skin all the time. I was counting the days until those suckers were cut out. To me, "life" was about to start up again!

And then, the next phase: Life between surgery number 2 and number 3. I took my doctor's advice: No need for therapy. Get out and walk. Well, I did... and it was painful. I kept thinking, "OK... keep walking and next week it will get better." It didn't. In fact, it got worse.

Then I went through a period of, "OK... fine... this is my life." I'll just learn to live with the pain, deal with the difficulties of managing stairs, never run again, and continue to plop an ice pack on the knee every night. Que Sera Sera...

Thankfully, I had 2 suitcases on my back: Parents. They harped on me over and over that I needed another opinion. I think it came to a head during Memorial Day weekend. Both of them were shocked at the ice packs I was using each night. When I told them this was a nightly ritual, that sent them over the edge.

Which brings me to today... Why do I work so hard? Why am I shaking so much and making Kendra smile? Why am I the only person in the room that appears to be sweating?

Because I want "it" back! Badly! I want my "active life" back in the worst way!

While Kendra wants me to work hard, she cautions not to push it. When I told her I rode 6 miles on Saturday and rode 60 minutes total by days end, she was impressed. But, she wanted to know how I felt. Yes, I was sore. But when am I not... you know???

So it hit me today... I know what my excuses were before. And I know that I probably could just hang it up and not go through therapy. But for me, it's a choice. A choice to either "push through the pain" and get my life back... or become sedentary.

How many people have you seen who have a medical condition and choose not to work out? My father, Joel, is like me. He had a knee issue that kept him from walking - so he got it fixed and went through therapy. He wanted his life back. He made a choice.

Those of you who don't have a medical issue like this have a choice, too. You start and end your day... have you made positive choices for your life?

I want to encourage you, if you're not already, to choose wisely! Choose to be active. If you can't do it daily, do it every other day. Go for a walk. Ride a bike. Park further out. Take the stairs!!!

Let's all get rid of our excuses... and fight for our lives!

Latest News from Therapy...

Thursday was a little different... and VERY long!

When I arrived, I had to fill out a "scorecard" on what my range of difficulty is on a variety of normal, everyday occurrences. Example: What amount of difficulty do you have walking, lifting a bag of groceries, running, etc.

It was the same form I filled out when I started therapy... but I think they wanted to know what type of improvement I've experienced.

In some ways, I think I've improved a lot. Let's say when I started, most things were "Extreme Difficulty/Unable to Perform."

Now, I feel like I'm in the "Moderate" difficulty range.

Next, they decided to take some measurements. They pulled out their compass and had me stretch it out to see how flat I could make my leg. Right now I'm about 1 or 2 degrees off. However, when I flex to push the knee down, it becomes 0 degrees - which is the goal without flexing.

They measured me on the bend... prior to doing "Heal Slides," I could bend it 116 degrees. But after about a minute of heal slides, I could get it to 123 degrees. The goal is 125, which is what my other knee can do.

I then continued on with my exercises. These include quad flexing, leg lifts, more bending, leg presses, clam shells, bridging, and lots and lots of balancing.

The picture above is "similar" to what I have to do. Instead of a ball under the board, it's another board. You have to try and balance on it for 2 minutes going side to side. Then after that you flip around and try and balance front to back.

They also introduced an exercise where I stand on the bad leg for 30 seconds and try and balance. Not fun.

Then, my new favorite (sarcasm): Knee bend. This is the one that just kills me every time. I stand on a board and force myself to bend down. I have to do 30 of these. Misery!

This all took about an hour and a half. I then had to ride the bike for 30 minutes - which I did - as it's considered a "milestone." This week they'll add resistance.

While I was on the bike, Kendra's intern came over and asked me how my exercises were going at home. I told her before I went to work, I could get in 2-3 sessions a day. Now that I'm at work, I get in 1 a day and 2 on the days when I go to therapy.

Part of me has wondered why she asked - does she think I'm not doing them? I mean, personally, I feel like I'm working my tail off.

Saturday was a BIG therapy day. I ran through my routine of exercises, and then I decided to get on my bike and take on the great outdoors. I biked for 40 minutes and went just over 6 miles. It was a beautiful morning - the temps were in the low 70s!

Then, I went through another session in the afternoon and biked 20 minutes.

Today I spent most of my time in a car driving to and from Longview. How does it feel? Dang sore! That's just a long time to be doing that... I think it was 5 hours of driving.

Glad to be back home and on the couch!

Preach It, Brutha!!!

I hope you guys can watch this video. It's less than 2 minutes, but it definitely says a lot.

If you've been following this blog for the past year, you might remember an entry last September about Robert Griffin III. As quarterback of my Baylor Bears, he went down with a torn ACL...

It was a devastating injury... not only for him, but for all Baylor fans because our season went down with him.

While an ACL injury is a little different than what I experienced, it still is a difficult to overcome. Your knee is still opened up, you go through the same pain, and you have to go through therapy to regain what you lost.

With that said, I've been following his recovery very closely due to the similarities. When he speaks, I listen!

To see him running and cutting is inspirational to me. While I wish him well for the success I hope for my Bears, I really hope he doesn't have to go through this ever again.

Baylor plays Sam Houston State on September 4. I can't wait to see RGIII take the field!

Rockin' the Bike...

One of the exercises I've been encouraged to take up is biking. Not only does my therapist support it, but also my doctor. In fact, he's an avid cyclist.

Biking to me over the past 7 or 8 years has been on the trails - I really like mountain biking. However, jumping logs and rocks and going up and down dirt hills isn't really in the cards for me at this point.

Throughout my therapy, I've enjoyed getting on the stationary bike. The progress has been very tangible to me - I can see and feel the results!

Now, I'm ready for a new challenge - biking outdoors.

In order to accomplish this, I had to purchase road tires for my mountain bike. The new tires, called "slicks," replace the knobby "dirt" tires so one could ride smoother on pavement. I'm all about the smoother ride...

If you know anything about Dallas, you know it's VERY hot these days. In fact, it's the hottest August on record... EVER. I think it was 105 degrees Saturday and Sunday, and today it hit 107. Incredible!

So instead of slaving over a bike in a hot garage, I spent most of the day Saturday putting the new tires on my bike... in the living room! Let's just say it's good I'm single...

Which led to Sunday morning. I put on my Garmin Forerunner (wrist GPS), turned on my iPod, and out I went around 8:30 AM.

I had no idea how it would go. I've only been biking for 3 weeks. How would the knee respond? How long could I ride?

One thing I quickly discovered was I needed to raise up my seat... like WAY up. The higher the seat is, the less bending you have to do with the knee. You have a longer reach, and it made it a lot more comfortable.

I decided to focus on the rotation - the constant motion I was making with my leg/knee. It definitely felt different compared to the stationary bike. Outside, you deal with inclines... wind... and variations in speed.

My chosen course was one I was familiar with - my neighborhood. I used it during all of my marathon training days, so I know the obstacles.

Do you realize the last time I ran this route was April 22, 2009? One thing that has changed is the neighborhood. I used to run in a subdivision that was about 2/3 built. Now, it's fully developed. I was shocked to see all of the houses.

Being outside was "freeing" - that's probably the best word I can describe. I felt extremely independent, excited that I was outside in the morning air, and that I was actually an athlete again... or trying to be one!

If you were to see me riding past your house, you'd probably think, "That is one slow dude."

Yep, I wasn't breaking any records. I discovered my average speed was 8.3 mph and that my maximum speed was 11.9 mph (probably coming down a hill!).

For comparison: When I last ran this course, I was averaging a 6 mph pace. So, I'm biking now just a little faster than a jog.

Halfway through, I knew I was feeling the pain. My knee was very sore - probably from all of the normal therapy and then this little bonus activity. After about 3.5 miles, I started heading towards home. I decided I wanted to end with 5 miles.

So, what you see in the image above is me riding around and heading back to my house. The little blue mark is the halfway point.

It took me 37 minutes, but I achieved the 5 mile goal. I honestly felt great... and hope to do it at least once or twice a weekend (early!).

So, for those locally that don't mind a slow pace, I'm up for a ride!

Building Muscle...

I think my hard work is paying off...

When Kendra first approached me at therapy today, she wanted to know how I've been feeling since Tuesday's workout. I told her, "I've been extremely sore." She asked where, and I pointed to a point just above the knee.

She said, "That's the bottom of the quad, and you know exactly what we did to work that. It has a long way to go to get back to normal."

I think that's the story with a lot of my muscles...

A few weeks ago, I was at rock bottom. My strength was "non-existent," and I knew I had a long way to go.

When I first started my PT almost two weeks after my surgery, I struggled with just about everything I was asked to do. In fact, my session lasted less than 40 minutes because Kendra didn't want to cause any pain.

My knee was still really swollen, my stitches weren't exactly "finished" healing the wound (I busted one at one point!), and I was still using the walker at home.

I remember when I first started doing clam shells. It was so freaking painful... to get to 30 was pushing it. Today I did 100.

How about when I first got on the bike: I was going at 25 RPM and it took everything I had to make it to 10 minutes. Today my RPM (cadence) is around 65 and I can easily make 25 minutes (the only reason I get off is because my butt hurts!).

One of the exercises is in the picture above. Instead of using both legs, I'm to try and go as long as I can with the bad leg. The goal is to go a full 5 minutes with one leg.

When I first learned this exercise, I struggled big time. I could go about 15 seconds (a few dips) with one leg and then the majority of the time I spent using both legs. Today I realized I'm now able to go a majority of time with the one leg... but I still can't make it the full time with just the one leg.

The point I'm making is it feels so good to be making progress. I can feel the results... my muscles hurt! Ha! But, it's a good feeling.

I probably can compare it a little to my marathon training. If you remember (for those that have been following this blog for several years), you don't just go out and say, "I'm going to run 26.2 miles." You have to work up to that.

The first week I would focus on getting to 2-3 miles consistently... in a few weeks I'd be up to 5 miles on a run. Eventually, I could get to running around White Rock Lake (9 miles) in a single run after a few months.

I guess that's the same here...

Case in point: Tuesday's blog focused on how difficult it was for me to bend the knee to get to that point where I could take a "down" step. I struggled to get the first one... and then, in time, I made it to 10.

Today, I made it to 30. Yay Me!

Kendra was very pleased, and said I had a great workout today. She said I'm just making awesome progress.

Well, I'm determined... that's one characteristic I have in my nature. I know what I lost, and I want it back. "Eye of the Tiger!"

But frankly, I just think I've got a great therapist who knows how to push me... I can't wait to see where I am in a few more weeks!

Whole Lot of Shakin' Going On...

A lot of people over the past year, when they see me, think "running" is what was taken away from me. Meaning, as if that's the only thing I lost...

The fact of the matter is, I've lost a lot... physically and emotionally. I won't talk about the latter in this blog. :-)

During today's therapy session, I was halfway through my exercises when I heard the girl next to me tell Kendra that "stairs" are still a problem.

Looking at her, I honestly couldn't see a scar on her knee. It was swollen, but I gathered it had been a while since she's been into therapy and was starting up again.

She talked about how difficult it is to go down stairs. Ironically, that's one of my most trying things to do. My doctor wants me to avoid going up/down a flight of stairs, but at my work I have a few I still have to go up/down when I go into/out of the building.

It also made me realize that I can't be alone in this... that others (like the guy in the picture above) struggle with simple tasks... and have to re-learn maneuvers that we all take for granted.

I started thinking about this issue as I was working through my exercises. "I wonder which one of these helps the most? Is there any way I can fast-track this process?" I know... I need to be patient... but geez louise I've been dealing with this crap for a year and a half now! I'm tired of being "The Gimp."

I then had one of those little conversations in my head... albeit, a little prayer. As I was doing the heel slides (my favorite because they hurt like anything!), I just said, "Lord, I hope all of this hard work will eventually allow me to go up/down stairs again like a normal person."

Friends... God was listening to my silent frustrations/prayer. I soon received my answer.

Kendra taught me 3 new exercises today, but one in particular (the last one) was particularly shocking (as well as DIFFICULT).

Overall, I think Kendra is pleased with my effort and determination. I'm working hard during our sessions, as well as at home. The results show when I come in and she can see how far I'm getting.

Whenever I'm making progress, she's ready to teach me something new. I'll skip the other exercises just so I can explain this one. It was the last one of the day.

On a 12" x 12" wooden board that is about 2-3 inches thick (height), I am to stand on one leg and bend it at the knee to lower the other leg until it taps the ground, and lift it up. Sounds simple, right?

Well it is... with my right leg.

Before I started, Kendra said, "I want 30." I thought, OK... this is going to be tough but I'm going to do it.

I stood on my bad leg and held the other one out. However, trying to bend was like trying to flex steel. Everything shook... I mean EVERYTHING! It was like an earthquake was going through my body as I tried in vain to bend that knee.

Immediately, my heart sank. I realized this was not going to go well at all. I could also see it on Kendra's face that this wasn't what she was expecting.

Kendra asked if I was in pain and I told her no, I wasn't hurting... I just had no control or support. I was just one big "shake."

I could tell this was freaking her out and so she said, "OK... let's focus on one." So I did... and it was as if the dam burst because I finally bent it enough that I could dip that right leg down an inch or two.

Earthquake and all...

After that she said to go for two and we worked on it where I could get to 5... and then I made it to 10. I was pouring sweat!

I told her this felt exactly like when I go down stairs. She said, "Actually, this is the exercise to help you do that successfully." Not to be over dramatic, but I can't tell you how much that hit me...

I know my eyes were "watery" talking with her because I had just had that conversation in my head with God.. and this has been one of my biggest frustrations since day one!

Kendra said the muscle has not been used in a very long time, and that we will be focusing on building that up in the coming weeks.

Well, I'll just say my spirits were sky high for the rest of the afternoon. Not only that we have a plan, but that God answers the quietest of prayers!

Even when expressed through frustration!

Catching Up...

If you noticed, I haven't updated the blog since Tuesday.

Well, something happened on Wednesday: I started back to work.

I got really busy. Even though I was working from home on Wednesday and Thursday, I was still attending therapy sessions. When I finished up work, I had my own therapy session to work through.

So, my time is very constrained now.

Friday I went into work. I'll get to that in a bit...

On Wednesday at therapy, Kendra introduced some new exercises that I can only do at the clinic. One is for me to lie on my back on an incline machine. I guess I would call this similar to a leg press, in that I have to push myself up the track.

However, I am not to do a full knee bend or a knee lock. Once I get up to the end of the extension, I need to drop it down a few inches. After I do a few of these, I have to remove my right leg and just put all the weight on my left.

Believe me... it's incredibly tough. But, I really like this because I can feel the burn... I can tell my muscles are working and getting stronger.

Another exercise I do at the clinic is a "board balance." Think of a piece of plywood that is probably 20x15 inches. Underneath is a 1-inch board that runs the length of the plywood. I stand on this and balance (try to balance) for 2 minutes. It's rockin' and rollin' - but it forces me to use muscles that I've lost. It's very intense. Then I switch and do it a different way... so the first way I'm going side to side. The second time I'm working on balancing front to back.

In addition to these two exercises, I'm also doing clam shells and bridging (see picture above). Clam shells is me lying on my side with my legs together and lifting the top leg like a clam shell. This puts the focus on the hips, which adds muscle and puts more weight on them rather than the knees. I can do about 50 each of these.

Bridging is pretty tough. When I go up, you can see the intensity is on the bent knee. I have to try and hold it for 2-3 seconds, and then come back down. I can do 50 of these as well.

So those are my new exercises... which, added to the current ones, just lengthens my therapy sessions. Plus, I'm still riding the bike at 25 minutes a session... doing it 2-3 times a day.

On Friday I went into work. It was a long walk from the train station to my office. I actually stopped twice to catch my breath/let the pain subside. I walk pretty slow, too.

When I arrived, my boss/coworkers were surprised that I was wearing jeans... that I wasn't on crutches... and that I seemed to be walking good. Apparently they thought I would be in pretty bad shape.

My day was busy, and I need to not walk around as much as I did. I think that wore me out. When I got home, I was so tired/sore that I just didn't have it in me to do a therapy session. I ended up parking myself on the couch and going to bed around 10.

Saturday was a good day in terms of workouts - I completed two lengthy sessions and felt like I accomplished a lot.

My schedule this week is to go into the office on MWF and working from home Tuesday/Thursday. Those two days are my therapy sessions with Kendra.

So there you go - wanted to catch everybody up.

Today's Dr. Visit...

It's been two weeks since my last visit to see Dr. Ramsey , so I was interested to see how he thought I was doing.

His first comment was regarding the healing of the knee. Apparently it looks good... of course, compared to a normal knee, it still looks like a train wreck.

I then had to lay on my back while he checked my strength and mobility. He was very pleased with how far I could bend my knee, as well as the muscle tone. I told him I've been working hard with Kendra.

Then it was time for him to remove the stitches. Four of the holes that he made had stitches that would dissolve. However, the large one below the knee needed regular stitches. This is the one he went through to remove the suture.

He wanted to remove them before they became a part of my body. While he was taking them out, I guess they proved more difficult than he expected. A few times he was grimacing and saying, "I'm really trying not to hurt you."

Well, as long as he wasn't sticking another needle into my knee, I wasn't complaining! Actually, I don't have much feeling on the surface of my knee. I guess whatever was going on, he must have thought it was causing me pain. I didn't feel a thing.

Once he finished, I noticed him doing something and then I figured it out - he was getting ready to put a bandaid on my knee. Why do I need one of those? I soon figured it out - apparently I was bleeding.

We then had a talk.

The previous two visits, I was either about to pass out from the pain (knee draining) or I was still a little loopy from being on the pills. I wanted to find out what my life is going to be like now that he's done all of that cutting.

Stairs: When I'm at work, my office occupies two floors. The stairs are right outside from my desk, and it's very convenient to take them. He wants me to avoid stairs as much as I can in the future. However, for the next four weeks, he wants me to put them out of my mind completely. I'm to take the elevator.

Appearance: My knee hasn't looked normal since April 26, 2009. I don't care about the scars on the outside, but I'm wondering will it ever not be so swollen? He said it will never look like a normal knee, but it will look a little better (compared to the other one). He wants me to get on a regimen of taking Aleve twice a day... for a very long time. He said it's not for pain, but for the swelling. I couldn't take this during the past few weeks because the body needs to heal inside without fighting the anti-inflamatories. Now, I'm ready. Hopefully this will do the trick.

Walking: He wanted to know how far I have to walk to get to work. I told him it's about two blocks from where the train drops me off. He asked if I wanted a handicapped tag - he has the form that I could get for 6 months. It's tempting... but right now I told him I'd see how it goes. Besides, it's so much easier taking the train from where I live compared with driving.

Exercise: He's told me this before, but my future cardio will come from biking... or swimming... or elliptical. My knee can't take any sort of pounding. I've really been pushing myself on the biking (stationary), so I'm hoping to try doing some outdoor biking in a few weeks. Jason has already said he'd bike with me once a week. I figured if I could bike on my own and then have a good "long" day on the weekends, that'd be a pretty decent plan.

He wants to see me in 4 weeks - 2 days shy of my 40th. Overall, he thinks everything is looking great and he said I need to keep up with the hard work.

That's my plan...

I think last time I trusted my previous doctor in that all I needed to do was to walk and everything would fall into place. This time around, I'm discovering that I need to work at it AND I'm encouraged to work at it!

I can see the results... my therapist and doctor can see the results. And hopefully, the harder I work, the more "normalcy" will return to my life.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm fighting for "my life" here. I want it back. Badly! And I'm very determined to get it back through blood, sweat, and tears!

Who Wants to See My Knee???

These are the pictures from my surgery. If you are squemish, then don't watch because they get a little more disturbing towards the end.

Otherwise, enjoy!

"What Are You Doing This Weekend?"

Would you believe I was asked that question 3 times on Friday?

Given my little "situation," I found that humorous. I guess some people were giving me more credit than I expected...

My focus this weekend was going to be on continuing my exercises. Period. End of story. That's it.

I wanted to be very productive with my time. In fact, I wasn't going to take the weekend off just because it was there...

As of Friday, I've been in Physical Therapy for one week. When I arrived, Kendra got me on a table and I started doing my stretches.

They had someone "observing," so she asked me a lot of questions ("What happened? Were you active before the accident? How much has your life changed?"). This girl was a student at the University of North Texas and was deciding if she wanted to go into therapy.

Oddly enough, after one of my exercises, my knee started bleeding. It was coming out of the left side of the knee - the area where the lateral release was. Kendra asked me if that ever happened before, and I said no. It's still very swollen, so the skin is just very tight around that incision.

I finished up on the bike (2o minutes and I got my cadence/rpm up to 55!), then left. I needed to go to the grocery store, and I wasn't looking forward to it (I was very sore). But, as soon as that task would be over, I could get home and rest on the couch.

Friday afternoon I did one therapy session, then ended up grabbing a nap. I think everything was catching up to me on the week. I was very sore and tired.

I spent Saturday working my tail off on the exercises, and I was able to ride the bike 3 times at 20 minutes each. It gets pretty boring riding the bike - so I play "Tetris" on my iPhone while I'm on it. Ha!

When I wasn't exercising, I was smoking... meats! I smoked two chickens and two racks of ribs. They turned out great - I'll give one of each to my folks. If you know anything about smoking, it takes 3-4 hours for each session.

Sunday was a mirror of Saturday without the smoking. However, I was pretty tired from Saturday's exercises so I only did two therapy sessions.

To me, I believe all of this hard work is starting to pay off. While I am much more comfortable when I'm on the couch, the knee isn't hurting as much when I walk on it. It's still big... but I think I'm starting to develop the muscle mass to support everything.

I have been thinking about this a lot - not going through therapy before, I don't think I had the strength to support myself (or as much strength as I have on my right leg). Thus, the traumatized knee was probably taking all of that weight...

At least that's what my "couch potato" thought process came up with...

This week I start back to work (Wednesday). I plan to work from home Wednesday and Thursday, then go into the office on Friday. My therapy sessions this week are Monday/Wednesday/Thursday.

Oh, and Tuesday I go see Dr. Ramsey. I'm interested to see what progress he thinks I've made in the last two weeks.

So if you're wondering, "What does Regan do all day?" - the answer is "exercise!" It takes me about an hour and a half now to get through a session. Once I'm through, I take about an hour break and then I get into it again.

That's my plan this week... at least Monday and Tuesday. When work starts up, I'll lose that time... Which is why I'm pushing so hard right now to take advantage of what I have while I'm at home.

Changing the Subject...

About a month ago, I shared pics from my Cruise. It was an awesome vacation, and we had a lot of fun. If you missed them, here is a link to the blog: Link

Well, above are the pics from when David and I went snorkeling in Cozumel. Given the heat we're going through in Texas, this is like a tall glass of iced tea!

Enjoy!

Making Progress...

Today was my 3rd Physical Therapy session, and I was really interested to see the progress I've made.

Since Tuesday, I've been a "focused indoor athlete." I went through a combined 6 workouts between Tuesday and Wednesday. That's a lot... especially knowing where I was this time last week!

I rode the bike 4 different times, and was able to get my time up from 10 to 15 minutes in a workout.

So, walking into today's session, I was excited to show Kendra what I've been doing.

Did you notice I said, "Walking?" Yes... I haven't used a crutch since Wednesday. And on that day I used it sparingly. It was weird leaving it at home... but I walked (albeit, very slowly) into the room with an approving Kendra following.

As I went through my exercises, I got a lot of "good job!" and "you're doing awesome!" comments. She increased the difficulty on that meter that is attached to my quad... it was tough but she said I did great.

When it came time to do my favorite exercise (heel slides - and yes, sarcasm!), she brought over the ruler to check my flexibility. On Friday I could only bend it 85 degrees. Today I'm up to 110 degrees... and our goal is to match my other leg, 125 degrees. She was like, "only 15 more to go!"

Kendra also introduced a new exercise - clam shells. I did that prior to the surgery, but I think she held back due to the stitches. Anyway, I lie on my side with my legs bent and together... then I lift the top one. She asked me to do 30 on each side. I did 50. :0

I then did 5 laps walking over the cones... I'm OK on that, but my balance is still off unless I'm concentrating. It's odd trying to learn how to walk straight.

Finally, it was time for the bike. Kendra said, "If you're doing 15, try 16... 17... or 18." Well, I did it for 20 minutes. It was tough, but I really wanted to press forward and see if I could do it.

More impressive, at least to me, was I could only keep the RPM on Tuesday around 25. Today I was able to maintain 45! I'm trucking along!

I go back tomorrow to see Kendra, and then I have 3 sessions next week again. She told me I'm doing fantastic. It's very motivating having someone that encouraging behind you...

So I drove home and I got a wild hair. I've been walking a lot in my house... what about on a straight-away? What is my endurance level... how far can I go? I put on my iPod and decided to try and walk to the end of my street and come back.

That was the goal... but I told myself I would turn back if it felt weird. Well, I made it about 3/4 the way and I was really feeling it. But, if you know me, I'm a bit stubborn. Seeing that the end of the street was just a little bit further, I pushed on but I walked slower.

Anyway, I made it. Down and back. I was very proud of myself.

The human body is amazing... last week at this time I was still using the walker and wasn't too excited about having to stay at my folks house (someone to watch me). I was hooked up to the ice machine still, and I was in a lot of pain.

Today, I walked to the end of my street. I biked 20 minutes... plus an additional 15 when I got home. I underwent two different workouts, and I'm being told everything is going great.

You really don't know what you had until you've lost it. I'm still struggling with pain, swelling, and general weakness. But, I'm finally seeing progress!

I can't wait to see where I am this time next year!

Still a Bit Swollen...

I've been asked quite a bit, "How's it going?" In fact, I get a daily phone call from my mom around 5 asking the same question.

So, here is my knee... in all its glory.

What you're seeing is it side-by-side with my right leg. I wanted to show the comparison.

It's still swollen, but I think it's going down a little bit each day.

You're also seeing 4 of the 5 holes. The 5th hole is just over the outside of my leg (if you see that white-ish mark at the top of the picture, it's just beyond that).

Each hole contains at least one stitch, except the one on the original scar - there are 3 or 4 on that one. Why so many? That's where he had to do cut out the sutures (from what I was told), so he needed to make a larger hole.

Most of my pain is on the outside of the knee. It is very sore to the touch, and has most of the swelling. This is where he had to cut (internally) my kneecap from the outside of my knee. This is also the area that looked like a sausage was stuck under my skin a week ago!

Speaking of, can you believe it's been 2 weeks? It seems like a month! I was still trying to understand/absorb the reality of having a machine attached to me at this time on the 21st. I was wondering how long this would be on me, and if it would impede me going back to work on that next Monday.

Little did I know how bad things would turn...

I appreciate all of the warm and encouraging comments. I think everyone is hoping this is it... this is the surgery/therapy that finally fixes this problem. I know I do...

As my cousin Lori says, "We gotta believe!" So, I'm believing it!

Believe with me!

More Physical Therapy...

Today was my 2nd PT session since the surgery. Had I not had the complications, this would have been my 4th.

Going into it, I wasn't exactly sure what Kendra's feedback would be. I've been feeling very sore lately. However, I've been working my tail off trying to regain everything that I've lost.

As you know, Kendra assigned me homework. One thing I learned is that PT is not just when you go to your session. It's "all the time." She told me before that this is my full-time job right now. Well... that's just about right.

The sessions are for her to see if I'm progressing, and what needs to be adjusted. The real work is what I do on my own between the sessions. This means I typically have a workout in the morning and two workouts in the afternoon.

So if I just educated you on what physical therapy is all about, then I figured I need to explain what the "routine" is really like.

A session typically goes like this:

I get up on the table and Kendra does a quick inquiry as to how things are going, any problems I'm encountering, and asking what my pain level is like. She also asks me to unwrap the leg so she can see the knee and how it's healing.

Physical Therapy, at least what I'm going through, is a lot of stretching. It's terrible and awesome all wrapped up together - terribly painful but it makes me feel so good.

The first stretch is called "Bridging." This is the one where I lie on my back with my heel resting on this foam "thing" for 10 minutes. It's supposed to stretch/align my muscles via gravity. By minute 7, it's really painful.

I next go through 3 sets of hamstring stretches where I push my knee down for 30 seconds and lean forward. That feels really good.

The other stretch I do is gastroc stretches - I'm given a dog leash and wrap it around my foot. I then lean forward and pull. 3 sets at 30 seconds each.

Then Kendra hooks up these electrodes to the top of my quad, which are hooked up to this electronic device. She sets it up where I have to flex for 5 seconds/relax for 3 seconds... and when I'm flexing this digital bar goes up. My goal is to try and keep it at a high level in the green. I do 45 reps, but when I'm home I don't have the machine so I just have to time it for 5 minutes.

Next comes the leg raises. Lying on my back, and with the device still hooked up to my leg, I have 45 reps where I'm lifting for 5 seconds/relaxing for 3. Again, I'm watching that meter to keep it flexed above a certain level. Today, Kendra commented that I'm doing a really good job and that she can tell I've been working hard at home.

Heel slides (see picture above) are next. I can't tell you how much I hate these. They hurt like a mutha. For 5 minutes, I'm pulling with the dog leash my heel as far as I can... holding for 3 seconds... and then pushing it back. Once it's stretched back flat, I have to flex my quad/lock the knee... then repeat. Seriously... these are the worst!

My next exercise is "cone walking." This is where I walk over little cones to train my leg to pick up my foot from the toe and land back on the heel... then lock the knee. After two laps with one crutch, Kendra came over and said, "Let me see that crutch." Once I gave it to her, she then said, "OK... let's see how it goes without the crutch."

Well, this was pretty dang awkward. I started walking with my hands out to maintain my balance. She said that was normal and that I need to learn how to adjust... so whatever helps me is fine. I went down and back twice and she said, "I want you to try and not use a crutch while you're in your home... but you should use it when you're out and about."

So, that's pretty good news I think. I don't think she'd push me more than what I can handle, and she must see that I'm progressing enough to get to this point. Amazing to think that less than a week ago I was struggling just to hang onto my walker.

Kendra then told me to follow her and we headed to the bike. This was a big moment - I really was interested to see what the "rotation" would feel like.

She wanted me to ride for 10 minutes... if you remember, prior to the surgery I could only go about 8 minutes and I was in a lot of pain. PRIOR TO SURGERY...

My first few cycles weren't very good... it locked on the first time around. Not a good sign. We then made a few adjustments, and I was then able to go around (very slowly) without it locking/stopping.

Kendra assured me that the goal for today was not speed (thank goodness!) but rotation. She wanted me to get the feel of going round and round. Well, my cadence was extremely slow... about 25 RPM. That's insanely slow, but I was just glad to be doing something... you know?

Anyway, I made it 10 minutes and the knee wasn't killing me. That really made my day. After I got off the bike, I was finished. I go back on Thursday.

My "homework" is to do two more workout sessions this afternoon and ride the bike once more tonight (I have a stationary in my house that belongs to my parents).

Anyhoo... there you go. That's what PT is all about.

Cleaning...

Last week, when my sister came to help out, she took on the "Martha Stewart" role.

Within a few minutes of arriving (after a long drive up from Houston), she started cleaning.

At first, I thought she was just doing my laundry and picking up the kitchen.

However, after a while, I noticed she had turned into a cleaning machine!

While maintaining my post on the couch, I watched in amazement as she cleaned the kitchen (countertops, sink, dishes, floor, appliances, etc.), dining room (dusting, baseboards, etc.), bedrooms, and living room.

She wiped down all of my baseboards, mopped the floors, ran the dishwasher, cleaned the bathrooms, and probably did (I think) 5 loads of laundry. She also vacuumed every room. It was a sight to see!

This all took place during the course of 2 days...

Both she and my Mom said "You need a woman in your life!" Ha! I'm not really a pig. I guess I just don't notice things since I have a housekeeper that comes once a month. Seems clean to me...

Rachel left saying she's going to remind me of things I need to tell Karen (housekeeper) to clean each month. Basically, giving her a little extra something to do each month.

So because the house looked so great, I decided to take advantage of me "sitting around" and scheduled for Dalworth to come out and clean my carpets and tile.

I used them last year, and the same guy (James) showed up today. He's really nice and extremely humble. One thing I like about him is he seems to really take pride in his job.

For the past 4 hours, I confined myself to my bedroom while James cleaned everything. When he finished, I was really impressed. The carpets look fantastic, but I'm floored (pun!) by the job he did on my tile. I've never had my tile/grout cleaned... it's a huge difference!

The carpets are still wet, so I'm just staying in my bedroom. Lord knows I don't want to slip on that tile from a wet foot! Probably will be "dryer" in a few hours.

Anyway, if you've been putting it off, look into getting your floors done. It's totally worth it! Dalworth had a deal for 25% off tile work and 4 rooms for $99 (carpet) - I'd bet other companies in your area would be running similar specials.

My Weekend...

Joel dropped me off at my house on Friday around 3, and I immediately took up residence on the couch. This would pretty much be my routine for most of the weekend.

I went through another therapy session (homework), and then grabbed a nap before Jason showed up to keep me company that evening. We watched Defiance (very good) and ordered a pizza.

Before he left, I had Jason fix up my ice machine and move it to my bedroom. I have decided to just keep it in there for the nights and I'd ice my knee with ice packs during the day.

Saturday I got up and decided it was time to start getting into a "routine" again. So, I made coffee and went out to get my paper. I realized I'm a very slow mover... normally I have enough time to come back in and read a section before the coffee is ready. By the time I made it back into the house, I heard the cofee finishing up. Oh well...

After eating a light breakfast, I started my workout. I went through the full session, which takes about an hour, because I wanted to finish it up before my parents arrived. It's hard to explain it... it's not difficult because it's strenuous, but it's difficult because it's painful. I just keep telling myself that the more I do this, the further along I'll be in my recovery.

Next, I hit the shower. This would be a different one than the previous showers - I was given permission to clean up without having the trash bag duct taped to my leg! You have no idea how great of a relief that is!

My knee is still very sore to the touch, but it felt good to get it cleaned up. The nurse did a good job, but I still would rather take care of that on my own.

Mom and Joel showed up and we went to lunch here in town. I had never been to Amelia's, and they had excellent Mexican food. I think it was a winner in their books, too.

They dropped me back home and I got back into my comfortable clothes and went through another session. This time I took longer with it... meaning, breaks in between the exercises. Which, of course, led to another nap after I finished up.

My cousin Lori called and we caught up (Finally!) on the events of our lives over the past two months. I haven't seen her or my other relatives in Beaumont since Thanksgiving 2008, so I'm planning a trip again this year.

Oh yeah, Saturday was my first "let's try and not take the pain pills" day. I made it through the day taking Tylenol every 4 hours. Again, trying to get my "normal" life back.

Last night I reheated leftover pizza and watched some shows, then headed to bed around 11. I also wanted to try something else out - no ice machine. You see, for the past 10+ days I've had to sleep hooked up to that machine. It's extremely uncomfortable, and I have to sleep on my back and the opposite side of the bed.

So I moved to my "normal" side, took a pain pill (figured it would help), and off to La-La-Land I went. It was an interesting night. I could feel the heat coming from my knee - it's like when you have a sunburn and you can feel your skin pumping heat out.

I figured if it got too bad, then I'd go hook up the machine. Anyhoo, it was fine. I did get a pretty restful night of sleep, though. I even slept on my stomach!

This morning was similar to Saturday - coffee, paper, breakfast, and therapy. Chandra showed up and I showed her my scary pictures (from the camera that went inside my knee during the surgery). Of course, she was grossed out and we had to flip them over after we were done. Ha!

She had come to visit because I wanted to get out. We went to lunch (Mexican - always good!) and then I wanted to go shoe shopping. If I'm going to start therapy and working out again, I wanted some new shoes...

I knew exactly what I wanted - one of three different options of shoes from Asics - so we went to DSW. They had one of them, but not my size. Next we went to Dick's Sporting Goods, and I actually found my number one choice.

Once purchased, I was pretty much done. My knee had seen enough of the "real world" for the day, and we headed home.

After Chandra left, I've rested and gone through another therapy session. I thought I would get a nap, but it got too late in the day. I've since made dinner and now I'm back on the couch (of course).

I'm still feeling a lot of pain, but not as much. My knee is still swollen, but not as much. But most importantly, my spirit is still heading in the right direction. I have a good attitude about all of this, and I see "normalcy" returning in the near future.

Thanks again for your support and encouragement...

First Physical Therapy Session...

I stayed at my parent's house Thursday night so that it would be easier on everyone to drive me to my therapy session.

Kendra called me in around 9:30. The first thing she said to me was, "You survived the surgery!" I looked at her and thought, "If you only knew..."

Well, she was about to find out the truth.

As I made my way to a table, she commented, "Your moving pretty good." I told her I've had 9 days of practice on the crutches.

I then walked her through everything: Dr. Ramsey performed a lateral release, cut out all of the scar tissue, and removed one or more sutures. Also, he didn't have to repair the meniscus.

She said, "So what happened this week? You canceled your appointments because he wouldn't clear you?" I then told her about me doing exercises the first 3 days, and then being unable to lift my leg Saturday-Monday. Going to see Dr. Ramsey and the knee being enormous, and then him having to drain the knee.

"Do you know how much he drained?" I told her 40cc's. Her eyes popped out and she looked at me, "Oh my gosh! That's a lot!" She then said, "No wonder you couldn't lift your leg. That's a lot of pressure on that knee."

I showed her my pictures from the surgery, and she explained everything in even more detail than Dr. Ramsey. It was extremely interesting/informative. And, I learned something about that lateral release.

She said we're going to have to adjust some of the therapy because it causes "complications." She then went on to explain that it the kneecap is going to be a little more unstable since it's not connected to tissue on the outside of my leg.

I asked if this means I'm at risk for a dislocated kneecap... she said it's just the contrary. Because the kneecap was being pulled so far over by the tissue, it could have easily been dislocated had I experienced some sort of trauma.

We then unwrapped the knee because she wanted to see it. (Nosey Rosey!) She saw all of the stitches and swelling and said, "Well, you may not think so but it looks pretty good." I said she should have seen it on Monday and she said she could only imagine if he pulled out that much fluid and blood.

Speaking of, there are 4 little "marks" on the outside of the knee that she said is where he went in with the needle. So maybe he wasn't actually moving it around... it was him going in multiple times. Sheesh!

Then, it was time for work.

Most of the exercises I was familiar with - having gone through them prior to surgery. However, some were new. After about 10 minutes I was already sweating.

One exercise is very odd to me: I have to lie down and rest the heel about 8-10 inches above the ground on an object for 10 minutes. It sounds easy... but after about 5 minutes, I really start to feel it. The reason I'm doing this is my alignment is off. This helps to develop my muscles to straighten out. No wonder I walk with a "strut."

The final exercise was me walking over small cones. It was to teach my leg to come up from the toe and land on the heel... and then to lock the knee. After my first down and back, she had me remove my left crutch. I then had to go down and back 2 more times.

While I was doing that, I said it was very awkward and that I'm used to using the walker. Kendra asked if I'm on a walker for stability, and I said yes... and that it's just easier to get around with.

Then she wrote something down in my file... hence, the comic above (I saw that this week in the paper). How ironic...

My homework is to do my exercises all the time, 3 times a day... meaning, every 30 minutes I'm to do one of the exercises. The goal is to keep the blood flowing through the knee.

She also said that I'm to keep the knee unwrapped when I'm at home and I don't have ice on it. When I go out, though, it needs to be wrapped.

Oh, and she told me I'm to lose the left crutch. I need to be working on one crutch now... this puts more weight on the left leg, thus building up those muscles.

Believe me, it's not easy... NONE of it is easy... but I'm trying and adapting.

I go back to see her on Tuesday. Then Thursday and Friday.

One Big Fat Knee...

Tonight I was out on the deck with my Mom, and she wanted to see what was under the bandage.

So after the unveiling, this is what she saw: a pretty big knee with 5 areas containing about 10 stitches. (We're not exactly sure)

As you can see, the knee is still fairly swollen. However, it's definitely smaller than it was on Monday. I'm not kidding - it was huge!

Dr. Ramsey and his nurse both commented today how much smaller it had become.

On the left side is where we noticed 4 dark marks - at first we thought they were stitches. Upon further review: scabs.

Then it hit me - this is what Dr. Ramsey was doing on Monday. He was inserting the needle into these 4 places (and possibly one of his incisions) to draw out the blood and fluid. Wild!

If you were to touch it, the skin is very "spongy." You can tell there is still fluid under the skin... so hopefully in a few more days it will come down.

My Mom was like, "You can't even see any bone!"

Well, she didn't see it on Monday when it had "waves" in it - that knee was so amazingly deformed that it looked like a water balloon with ripples (bandage marks).

Pain? I'm about a 5-6 tonight. Can't wait to see how high my level gets tomorrow with Physical Therapy!

So now you can see why I'm constantly hooked up to that ice machine... I guess it's working.

It's About Damn Time...

Sorry for the curse word, but that's exactly how I feel after the week I've had...

I've tried to control my frustration, but now I can at least express my relief.

We went to see Dr. Ramsey this morning. Before we arrived, I made sure I could still lift the leg this morning because I knew he would be checking that. No problems... still could lift it as I've done since Monday afternoon.

When Dr. Ramsey's nurse came in, she immediately said, "Well, you look a lot better than you did on Monday." Joel was in the room and she said how I was very pale and my expression showed I was in a lot of pain.

Then she unwrapped the knee - no bleeding this time. Now that I was more cognizant than I was on Monday, I got a better look at it. The stitches are in multiple places - top, bottom, right, and left. However, the bottom has several along the pre-existing scar and the left side has numerous "stitch" areas where the release was made.

Dr. Ramsey then came in and said the same thing - "You look MUCH better." We then went through the leg lifts and he remarked that he could tell I was doing my exercises. I now need to do them every hour that I'm awake to maintain that muscle tone.

He said that Monday's knee draining was unusual. When he saw the stream oozing out the side of my knee, he knew there was a serious problem. Even though he had to insert the needle to get it all out, he said that was a risk of inviting infection into an area that needed to be healing.

Then he pulled out my pictures from the surgery.

First, the meniscus did not need to be repaired. It had a small tear in it, but he said it wasn't significant enough to need fixing. He showed it to me and I tend to agree. He said what we're seeing is normal in most individuals.

However, there was a tremendous amount of scarring. He showed it to me - resembling gray "spiderwebs" throughout the knee. He cut all of that out, which should help with flexibility and pain.

While he was cutting, he ran across a suture. It was blue. He said, "Obviously I wasn't a part of your original surgery, so I'm not sure why that was still in there." He said it was tied to the bottom of the kneecap, so he cut that out. Apparently that surprised him... and me, of course. (The other day he said "sutures" and I guess I forgot to ask if there was more than one today)

Then he went through the "release." He showed the pictures and explained that's why the outside of my knee looks like it has a "vienna sausage" inside of it. The swelling is causing that now, but that's normal.

Finally, he showed a picture of him cotterizing the blood vessels. "And, as you well know, not everything was cotterized even though I tried to get it all - which caused the bleeding and swelling."

So while my knee looks like it's twice the size of my other knee, it's come down enough that he is comfortable to send me to therapy. He doesn't want me to do much knee bending/heel slides right now... which means no biking yet... but at least I can get this process started. This next phase should last 4 weeks.

He doesn't want me to go back to work just yet. I told him I was thinking August 9, and he said he thinks that's the earliest but that I should plan to see him on the 1oth. I felt like he really wasn't sure if I'd be ready by then... but is leaving it up to me. Normally he sees patients 4 weeks later, but because of the complications he wants to see me in two weeks.

So I'm cleared for Physical Therapy starting tomorrow. He doesn't want me to stay by myself just yet, so I'll be bunking at my parent's house at least tonight. I guess I tend to agree... if you saw me, you'd understand. I'm just not there yet to be "Mr. Independent."

He said I might be able to start driving sometime next week. That would be determined by my Physical Therapist, Kendra. They re-wrapped the knee and said I could also start showering without the trash bag.

Overall, I feel like I got some good news today. I really couldn't imagine going into another surgery and putting my parents through all of that again. It's been tough on everyone this week, so I'm thankful for some good news in that I've finally turned a corner.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers...

I Spoke Too Soon...

For the record, I slept really well again last night.

However, before I went to bed, I was feeling quite a bit of pain in the knee. I thought it might be the ice pack "freezing" the skin, so I turned it down... quite a bit, actually. However, that didn't seem to help.

Throughout the night I took 3 pain pills - that's about one more than I should, but it's still within the limit.

Around 5:30, I woke up and realized the A/C temperature was going to start moving up after 8 unless I made a change. That's what has been waking me up each morning - after 8 it gets a bit warmer. So, I made my way over to the thermostat and cranked it down to 73 and hit "Hold." Ahhh... sweet cold relief.

I got up around 9:30 and noticed a lot of pain: knee and head. That was unusual... time for Mr. Pill.

After being up for about an hour, I realized something wasn't right. It's like my body is "off." I thought I might have a fever, so I took it. 98.2. Ok, maybe I just need some food. When Rachel arrived, she saw I wasn't feeling well and made me a sandwich. It was good, but it didn't fix the problem.

My energy level is just WAY down. It's like I've got the flu or something. I've forced myself to go through my exercises twice today already, but those didn't boost my energy level either.

Then I thought, "Maybe it's my blood pressure." So I took that and it read 134/89. Not great, but not "off the charts," you know? I mean, if you've been following this blog you know it's been a struggle... and the numbers have been much higher. To me, that's not the problem.

So Rachel was still concerned and wanted to know what she could get me to try and help the situation. I decided that maybe a smoothie from Sonic (props to Chandra) would give me some energy. I also ate a banana.

While I was sitting up, I showed Rachel one of my stitches (top of the knee) and she said that my knee is significantly larger than the other one.

Anyway, that's about how my day has gone. I've had zero energy and I've spent the entire day lying on this couch. Mom stopped by and wanted to know how I was doing... and of course, she feels bad as any mother would.

We talked about how it's been 1 week and I'm still feeling the same/worse than I was this time last Wednesday. And then she looked at my knee and commented how large it still is. I showed her the link below to the "lateral release" information so she/Rachel could see what happened.

Tonight Rachel is staying with me. She's taking me to the Dr. tomorrow morning (8 AM). I'm hoping to find out several things:

1. Is my knee still bleeding?
2. Are the pictures ready for me to see of what is going on internally?
3. What did he actually do/see during the surgery?

Overall, my pain has been about a 6 for the past two days. I can lift the leg, which is a good sign. I'm just completely wiped out and I've had a persistent headache all day. I guess it's just not a good day... maybe tomorrow will be different.

Feeling Better...

Today I woke up and my knee was bursting with pain...

My immediate thought was, "Oh great... more bleeding."

I had slept probably the best I have in over a week. I woke up just a few times (instead of every hour), and didn't roll out of bed until 9. I guess it's finally catching up to me.

I grabbed the walker and meandered out to the living room... and took my first pain pill of the day. After eating some breakfast, I settled into my spot - the couch.

Mom and Tanner showed up around 10:30 and she wanted to know my pain level. Well, it was pretty high still, and of course that bothered her (hypochondriac, remember?).

She wanted me to call Dr. Ramsey and move my appointment from Thursday to Wednesday. I told her let's play it by ear and see how I feel in the afternoon. She then left with Tanner and Carson for the next few hours.

Rachel showed up around 1:30 and immediately started helping out - cleaning up the house, changing the sheets, running the washer, etc. When Mom returned with Carson, she and Carson went to Target and Chili's for me.

While they were out, I decided to apply for "Short Term Disability" from my company. That was a lengthy phone call, and apparently I have a few more to make tomorrow regarding it. Awesome.

Then the Sears Repairman showed up - icemaker is on the fritz. When he was walking up, I thought, "Oh great... same guy." A few years ago he showed up to fix my freezer (different problem) and he spent more time gabbing then working.

Sure as anything... same thing today. This guy talked for 30 minutes straight... it went from "What happened to your knee" to me hearing about him riding motorcycles and his son piloting planes. (Note to Mel: His son is a Hunt pilot. Weird coincidence)

Then Rachel/Carson returned and I gave Carson a list to work through while Rachel finished up. She'll be back tomorrow and Carson will still be helping me.

Today I've been able to go through my exercises 3 times... not bad. Although the last one was a bit difficult.

My pain level is probably about a 6. Not bad. But I think overall I'm feeling better. Maybe the bleeding has stopped.

By the way, I got a little interested in what exactly is a "lateral release." The picture at the top shows that the kneecap is riding in a different position - which makes sense as I've always felt it wasn't lined up like the other one.

If you're interested in reading more, here is a link.

Still not doing much... just staying on the couch. My Mom said that Joel thinks I need to be checked into a hospital. Well, that's probably because when he saw me yesterday I wasn't looking that good... or the past few days. Mom said he was pretty shaken when he came home yesterday afternoon after seeing me.

I told her to make sure he knows I'm doing better... so let's hope things continue to go positive in that direction.

Monday's Update...

Sorry for the gruesome picture... but it plays well in today's update.

I guess everyone knows I've been in a lot of pain since Friday night. On a scale of 1 to 10, I would say it's been a steady 7 with moments up to 8 or 9.

Misery...

This has been frustrating because I had no idea I'd be dealing with all of this after the surgery. I really thought it was going to be fairly simple and I'd be driving in a day or 2 after the operation.

I've also been amazed at how little I can move. It's incredibly difficult to get to the bathroom, or to the kitchen, or to wherever. I haven't left the house since Wednesday, until today.

Mom and Tanner showed up around 8:15 and picked us up. We got to Dr. Ramsey's office around 8:40, and were called back around 9:10. I wanted Mom in there with me to hear what he had to say - these pills still make me loopy.

Dr. Ramsey's PA seemed a little "matter-of-fact" when I told him I was in a lot of pain. "Well, that's to be expected since you had a lateral release." Mom asked him what that was, and he said the Dr. would explain everything. He then said, "And you're scheduled for PT today, right?" I said yes...

Then Dr. Ramsey's nurse came in to ask a few questions, and then Dr. Ramsey. He asked how I was doing and I said I'm feeling considerable pain. He wanted to know if I was doing my exercises, and I said, "I was doing them Wed, Thurs, Friday, but by Saturday I couldn't lift my leg."

He then had me lock my knee/leg and try and lift... no success. He told me to try again and this time he helped me... but then he let go and a pain that could only be described as "HOLY CRAP" shot up my leg and I came up off that table!

He immediately turned around and told my mom she needed to leave the room. I knew there was a problem...

They unwrapped the leg and my knee looked like a VERY large grapefruit. I could see various stitches in different places of the knee, but I couldn't get over the size of it. Then I saw it was bleeding out the side.

Dr. Ramsey said that it was filled with blood/fluid and he needed to get it out. Meaning... right now. So his nurse iced my knee with an ice cube for the next few minutes, and then he came in with the needle.

Good gosh... have you ever had the pleasure of a needle going into your knee? It's such a fun experience. Not only is he drawing the blood out, he's moving it around...

I laid on that table sweating like a pig and his nurse kept reminding me, "Breathe... breathe..." Man... that pain was intense. All the while I'm thinking, "Good gravy! What else can happen with this freakin' knee?"

Well, my question would be answered shortly.

He finished up and they re-wrapped the knee. He said he removed 40 cc's of blood and fluid, and that means there is a problem. But, removing that amount should help my strength and pain level.

He then had me try and lift the leg again... this time, success. He said I need to cancel my physical therapy sessions this week and he left to go get my mom.

Here comes the "Bad News" train...

The bleeding in the knee is a concern. He said he did a lot of cutting during surgery, and that he tried to cotterize everything but it's obvious I haven't completely clotted. He wants to see me on Thursday morning. Early. If I'm still bleeding like this, he's going to have to go in again. Meaning... another surgery.

Unbelieveable...

He then explained that a lateral release means he made a cut about 2-3 inches inside the knee to release the kneecap from the side of the knee. He also said he removed several sutures. But he said that we'll talk more about that later... he could tell I was fading.

So I go back to see him Thursday morning... I've canceled my 3 PT sessions this week... and right now I'm laying on my couch exhausted from the experience.

My sister is driving up from Houston tomorrow to stay with me for a few days... Carson will stay one more night.

Ok... I'm heading towards a nap. Just wanted to give everyone the latest and not-so-greatest.

Sunday's Update...

This is a picture of me about a year ago... and it could have been taken today.

If you had come to visit me on Thursday or Friday, you would have seen a much more mobile Regan. Dr. Ramsey had given me instructions on moderate physical therapy, which I was doing with little to no pain.

Then on Saturday, everything took a turn for the worse. I awoke and was barely able to hold myself up on the walker. It was incredible! I couldn't believe the change of events.

I'm not sure how many of you have experienced leg or knee pains before, but it felt like I had steel rods going up and down my leg. Even worse, the knee was constantly on fire.

Getting up or onto the couch was a major effort... as well as trying to get to the bathroom or anywhere else with the walker. I think Carson was even surprised...

Yesterday I spent the entire day on the couch. I also took two naps... the hydrochodone makes you extremely drowsey.

Last night, Carson and I watched "The Simpsons Movie" and then I had to call it quits around 10. Unfortunately, it wasn't a restful night's sleep.

About every hour I wake up - either I try to readjust (as much as I can since I'm restricted to sleeping on my back), or I've got to make a trip to the bathroom.

Around 3 I woke up to a lot of "firey" pain - the knee was killing me. I made my way to the kitchen and grabbed 2 ice blocks. I put them in a grocery bag and waddled back to the bedroom to fill the ice machine. Ah man... it felt SO freakin' good. Plus, the pill helped.

I woke up around 8 but stayed in bed watching a move until almost 11. Carson got up and went through the process of setting up my ice pack. I then decided to make him a list of things I needed him to do for me (lists are good things with kids I'm finding out).

Chandra came to visit and bring us a Sonic meal around 2. It was soooo good. We then watched a movie, "17 Again," and played our iPhone game ("Words With Friends" - it's fun, like Scrabble).

Overall, my pain is still pretty intense. It has been nonstop since Friday night. I think it's gotten a little better as the day has wore on, but I've got some decisions to make tomorrow.

You see, I planned to login and work from home in the afternoon. However, the pain coupled with these pills makes me struggle big time with "focus." We'll see...

Tomorrow morning my Mom is picking Carson and I up to go see Dr. Ramsey at 9. Then if he releases me, my first Physical Therapy session is at 10:45. However, "if" is a big word - I can't lift my leg as it is today.

Tonight we'll just continue to take it easy. Thanks for reading, and I'll try to keep the updates coming...

The Ice Man Commeth...

As you all know, I'm not able to do this on my own. I need help... which comes in the form of my nephew, Carson.

Over the past few days, I think we've really bonded as "Uncle/Nephew." He's been extremely helpful and conscientious, always checking on me.

In fact, the kid's got some sort of freaky "radar" hearing - I start to move a muscle and he calls out from the other room, "Do you need something Uncle Regan?"

OK, so on Thursday morning he comes into my room with the paper. "How did you sleep Uncle Regan?" I think he was expecting a positive answer... instead, I gave him the truth. "I didn't sleep well being hooked up to this gizmo, and the ice melted about halfway through the night."

That appeared to shock him - he went over and was astonished that the ice machine was only filled with water.

This bit of news also lit a fire under the youngster - he left the room while I finished up my paper. I heard "noises" coming from the kitchen, but I figured he was making himself something to eat.

About 20 minutes later he comes in, "Uncle Regan, I have filled up 10 containers (tupperware) with water and stuck them in the freezer." He then said, "I'm going to make sure we don't run out of ice again!"

He left the room and a while later he informs me that he's increased the number of containers to 25. Then he said, "I sure am glad you have all of these refrigerators Uncle Regan." Which then led to, "WHY do you have all of these refrigerators?" :-)

So for the past few days, Carson's number one concern is to check my ice machine. He packs that sucker with all shapes and forms of ice. He fills it with ice cubes, ice packs, and ice blocks.

There are times I look at it and it's so full I say, "There is no way you're going to get that lid closed," which he then says, "I LOVE to pack things Uncle Regan. I'll make it fit."

Anyhoo, our routine is this: Each morning he comes into my room and carries the machine to the kitchen to re-pack. Once I'm situated on the couch, he comes over with the frozen concoction and I hook myself up. Which he stays next to me because he wants to see the "relief" when the frozen water pumps into that pack on my knee. (It's amazingly refreshing!)

Every few hours, we go through that process again. He empties out the water, adds more ice, and waits by my side to see the reaction.

I'm going to miss Dr. Freeze when he leaves... but it will be nice to get the space back from my freezers!

Bad Day...

As the day wore on yesterday, the pain continued to intensify. Last night - it got worse.

I went to bed around 10, figuring I could catch up on my sleep and battle the increasing pain with bed rest.

Unfortunately, I was up every 1-2 hours either dealing with the annoyance or having to empty my bladder. I don't know if a side effect of hydrocodone is "whizzing your life away," but I seriously am thinking there is a diaretic packed in that pill!

At one point in the night, while making my way to the bathroom, I realized my leg felt as though it was disentegrating under the weight/pain.

This is seriously a much different surgery than #2... resembling a lot like #1.

When I finally got myself up this morning, I could barely walk. I guess the doctor was right - after the first 24 hours, things would go south in a jiffy.

The plan today was for my folks to come over with Tanner and pick up Carson and myself for brunch. Well, because my mobility has dwindled to a crawl, I knew I couldn't handle getting out of this house.

Worse... they were to take Carson and Tanner with them tomorrow back to his parents. Notice, I used the past tense.

New plans: I need someone here and Carson has been a huge help. I've asked if he can stay for the next few days to help me. I'm not trying to be flippant about all of this, but I can barely hold myself up on the walker. There is no way I can carry anything, especially an ice machine.

My parents are taking Tanner back tomorrow, and I said we should "pencil in" Tuesday as a possible day for me not needing anyone's help. Joel asked, "Why don't you just come stay at our place?" (We know the answer to that)

So today we've taken it pretty easy. I'm on the couch with one nap already under my belt. He's in his room reading and doing whatever. When I need something, I just call for him and he handles it.

If I wasn't so loopy on this medicine, I'd write one humdinger of a blog about his "ice" skills.

But for now, I just wanted to let everyone know that this isn't a vacation for me... far from it. I'll be SO glad when this is all over...

Surgery: Part III

(Continuation from Wednesday)

So Mom, Carson, and I arrived at my house around 3ish. Mom walked Carson around the front and the back of the house to show him what needed to be watered.

I settled into the couch.

Before she left, Mom made sure that everything was setup the way I would need it... and made sure that Carson knew he was my extra appendage.

I assumed I would be tired... but for some reason I wasn't. I watched TV and Carson got onto his Facebook page. We also setup his gadgets to plug into my Wi Fi.

Dr. Ramsey called and asked how I was doing - I told him my soreness was in both of my lower calves. He said to keep doing my exercises and it should clear up. He also said he'd call me the next day.

We made a pizza and watched "The Blind Side." He thought we would also watch "2012," but we didn't finish the movie until 9:30.

He was very attentive to my "ice" situation - always making sure the box was filled with ice and that I was comfortable. I really haven't had to do a lot - he's been a very good helper.

I went to bed around 11, but really struggled falling to sleep. If you see the pic above, I'm having to sleep on the left side of the bed so that my leg can be plugged in.

Not only that, but I can't sleep in any other position except my back. So, my first night was fairly restless.

I woke up around 7:45 on Thursday and laid in bed watching TV. Carson came in around 9 with the newspaper, and we hung out playing "Words With Friends" (great game - it's like Scrabble and you can play it on your iPhone with someone else).

I blogged and then "got up" close to noon, where I went straight to the kitchen and heated up a burger (puffy burger). NOTE: I totally forgot that my Mom was bringing us Chick Fil e... oh well. She showed up around 2.

Mom hung out for a while and we chatted more about the surgery and how crazy that he had to remove a permanent suture. I'm still puzzled why that was in there...

Mom left and around 4 we popped in "Avatar." If you haven't seen it, it's a very good movie. I was surprised. During the movie, I noticed a bit of pain coming on... so I decided to take my first Vicodin.

After the movie was over, I ate sushi (courtesy of Mom) and Carson made a french bread pizza. He then wanted to watch "2012."

Around 9:30 Dr. Ramsey called and asked how I was doing. He also confirmed that I need to continue doing my exercises (helps to prevent clots) and to take it easy. Not a problem. I am NOT going to force this... I'm fine and dandy laying around.

Well, the movie ended around 11:15 and Carson asked if he could stay another night. I said that's fine but that he'd better stay the last night at my Mom's because she's probably missing him.

I went to bed around midnight and took another Vicodin - uugh. Let's just say that does not make for good dreams.

This morning I got up around 8 because my Mom/Tanner were coming over around 9 to pick up Carson. She's taking them to a movie and to see a customer of hers, and then she'll bring Carson back this afternoon.

My pain is a little more intense today - not bad. Just there and more apparent then yesterday. It feels like it's burning on the interior side of my knee, and then on the top it feels like I pulled a muscle. But overall, this isn't that bad.

I'm going to grab a nap this afternoon while Carson is gone. So, there you go... that's about all I have to say right now.

Surgery: Part II

Waking up from surgery is always a weird experience for anyone...

It's always the same: I'm in a deep sleep and I hear my name being called out. When I open my eyes I'm very confused - where am I and what just happened?

I wanted to just close my eyes and go back to sleep, but they won't let you - they start asking you questions, handing you stuff to eat and drink, etc.

I was also shivering... a lot. That was weird but the nurse said it was the drugs in my system causing that.

Joel then walked into the recovery room (I was in a room with a bunch of curtains where others were out of surgery) and said something like, "Well, you were in there for a while." It was 10:30. And then he said something like, "That bandage looks a lot different than what I had."

I looked down and saw my leg bandaged up and a tube coming out of it. "What the ???"

OK, so I'm very groggy but I had no idea it would look like this. I remembered him saying it would be wrapped in a bandage but I could remove it for showers. What in the world was going on?

Dr. Ramsey then appeared and explained everything. In addition to repairing the torn meniscus, removing the cyst, cutting out the scar tissue, shaving down the bone, and fixing the "problem" discussed below... he ran into something else: a permanent suture.

My previous surgeon had attached a permanent suture which attached the kneecap to the femur (I think - remember, I'm groggy). He said it was restricting the kneecap and shouldn't be in there.

I don't know if that means the previous doctor left it in there by accident or on purpose, but this may be a HUGE change in my mobility.

If you've seen me walking on stairs (especially going down), it is an extremely difficult process. When I step down, I'm always holding onto a railing because I don't feel like I have any control. While the right knee is flexible, the left knee would only go to a certain point. It was like there was a wire in there!

Well, now I know... at least I'm really really REALLY hoping that is what was causing this and that my flexibility improves. This falls right in line with my goals - walk like a normal person again!

So then he explained the tubes: It's a glorified ice pack. As you can see in the picture above, I'm attached to a machine that pumps cold water into a pack that is on my knee. Hence, why the knee looks like it's 10 sizes too big.

I have to keep this hooked up 24 hours a day while I'm stationary. If I need to get up, I have to unhook it (it's a process, believe you me) and then re-hook when I return (couch or bed).

Dr. Ramsey then said I'm not to remove the dressing - which means I'm back to trash bags for showering. I was supposed to see him next Thursday, but he wants to see me this Monday morning. I then go into physical therapy after leaving his office (that day).

My restrictions are not to bend the knee and to stay on crutches until he or my therapist releases me... and no driving. Good gravy!

After getting dressed, they wheeled me out to the front and got me into Joel's car and off we went. I was one big groggy mess - Joel was talking and I was trying to talk but was having difficulty. They had stuck a tube down my throat, so it was sore and I had a lot of drainage. Couldn't seem to clear my throat.

During the drive, Joel said "You're not going home tonight. I'll go to your house later to get your crutches." (Hair on the back of the neck perks up)

You see, I left my crutches at my house specifically because I was told I'd be going there directly after surgery. Then I reluctantly agreed the night before to stay a few hours at their house after the surgery. Now I'm being told this bit of news.

OK, I'm not trying to be stubborn, I'm just more comfortable at my house. I keep the AC very cold, I don't have bugs flying around or landing on me when I'm on the couch, and it's quiet.

We got back to their house and Joel helped me out of the car and to the couch. Immediately the IV fluids were ready to get out of the system - I went to the bathroom 3 or 4 times in the few hours I was there.

Mom arrived and I made it clear (while sitting on their couch with my shirt off sweating) that I was going home. She could see my frustration... and agreed if Carson stayed the night with me. No problem.

More to come...