"Unbelievable Trauma"...

When Kendra came to the waiting room to get me, she asked, "So how are you feeling?"

I looked at her and stifled a laugh, "You have no idea..."

I then told her what was going on (previous post) and she started examining the knee. This is basically me sitting on a table while she grabs and contorts the knee to feel around and ask where it hurts.

Then she hit it...

On the outside of the knee, she poked a spot that definitely resembled the "excruciating pain" I felt a few weeks ago when Dr. Ramsey did his examination. But, that was on the inside... this was on the outside.

Which led her to say, "You may also have a tear in your lateral meniscus."

Awesome.

She then said, "Your knee has undergone unbelievable trauma. There is probably a lot of internal damage that still needs to be fixed when he goes back in."

Which probably makes sense... let's recap: When I had my MRI, the images were difficult to look at - this is what I heard from both the MRI technician and Dr. Ramsey - due to the flashes from the drill bit.

So it doesn't surprise me that he said I have a tear in my medial meniscus when the lateral one could be torn, too.

From what Joel tells me, he'll go in and check everything. He even provided a photo of Joel's ACL to prove that it's fine and he checked it. Sounds like a good doctor, right?

Today's session was the same as the others except because of my pain she had me ride backwards on the bike. That's a weird sensation!

Anyway, I finished up and said my goodbyes because the next time I return will be post-surgery.

Her statement, "unbelievable," stuck with me throughout the session and this afternoon. I was talking with someone at work last week and he said, "I had no idea how bad a break of a knee could be so devastating." He went on to say that he thought it was (a.) Have Surgery (b.) Physical Therapy and (c.) Return to Normal Life.

Which, I told him, I thought as well. For those that have been reading this, you knew my goal was to run again. I really thought that would happen. Unfortunately, I can see now that it's not in my future. Seeing the X-Rays and knowing that I don't have any protection (cartilage) just assures me that my future athletic endeavors are on wheels.

So yeah... my knee took the brunt of incredible and unbelievable trauma... but hopefully one year from now I can be in a better "place" than I am now.

Ready for this all to be over!

Final Physical Therapy Session...

Today I have my final session until I go see my doctor in July.

Some of you know this, but it has not been a good past couple of days. The knee has been so dang sore that it's really causing me some concern about my upcoming trip.

While the pain is obvious on the interior side of the knee, it's also becoming more apparent on the outer side. My hunch is I'm realizing what is causing most of my pain now (torn medial meniscus) and I'm compensating by trying to walk on the outside.

Which, I assume, is causing more pressure on an area that probably isn't prepared or able to handle the added weight.

I'll bring this up to my therapist, but I really don't know what she can do.

Yesterday I actually considered bringing one or both crutches... and I totally avoid stairs now. The best thing is to rest an ice pack on it at the end of the day... ah sweet freezing relief!

OK, just wanted to throw in a quick update prior to my last session...

You Need to Read This...

My friend Brent, who lives in Austin, sent me this story.

All I can say is you're going to be stunned when you read it.

First of all, a picture doesn't tell the whole story. I always say that if you look at a person, you never know what they've been through unless you've walked in their shoes.

Well, you're all reading my blog because you're interested in my story... whether it's the pre or post accident information (of course, now all post), you're here because you care and you're rooting me on.

This guy... my gosh... I'm telling you that if you ever thought I (or anyone else) had a difficult story, you won't believe this one.

The article is about a guy named Matt... I'll let you read it to get the full picture. But this is very telling... even to me:

“If you absorb something like this and you learn from it, you realize you’ve gained as much as you’ve lost. I thought I was a little happier then, but maybe that really wasn’t happiness like it is now,” says Matt.

Before you read it, know this: Brent works with Matt. I told Brent I was very thankful he sent this to me... it helps in so many ways and on so many levels.

Enjoy: Link

Bad Knee Week...

Last week was a mixture of "busyness" and "pain," coupled with exhaustion.

I'm sorry I didn't do any writing since Tuesday, but I wasn't really up for it by the time I got home.

The last time I wrote, I talked about the difficult physical therapy session I had. Not really with my normal exercises, but with that machine they put me on.

By Wednesday, I was experiencing a lot of pain with the knee. I even remarked to my boss, "it's not a good knee day." That day extended the rest of the week.

Pretty much each night I'd come home, grab an ice pack, and plop down in my chair.

Do you have any idea how good it feels to rest an ice pack on something that is killing you? It's like dousing a volcano!

Plus, my bum knee can take hours of an ice pack... I think because of the nerve damage. I've placed it on the other knee and can only take about 5 minutes.

So this little routine went on and on last week. I also had a hectic week at work - a website I have been working on for over a year finally went live on Friday. I wish I could show you, but it's a site where you need an account to login.

In a nutshell, it's a site where a borrower can login to retrieve their loan information (bills, documents, etc). I'm very proud of the work we did on it, and I truly believe it will save the company time and money through some of the enhancements we were able to do.

Launching that site, and the other projects I'm working on, caused many early mornings and late days. Thursday night, when the site was installed on our production server, I was working until 10. And Friday morning I was in the office again before 7.

Anyhoo, by the end of the week, I was dead tired. I probably went to sleep around 9 Friday night, and that was me trying to stay awake until then.

I'm telling you all of this because not only did I skip my blogging, but my PT at home. I just didn't have the energy... nor did I have the stamina. My knee was just one big fire-ball of pain.

Saturday was better... so I went through one session instead of two.

Then yesterday, I did something I probably shouldn't have done: Lawn mowing.

I figured that I could mow my yard since, "Hey... it's feeling OK." Well, not so much... I think I was halfway through when I realized that every turn at the end of the row was increasing in pain.

So a long story short... I ended my week much like I did every night - ice pack.

That's probably the last time I'll mow until I recoup from the surgery. That is, unless I decide to do the "Redneck lawn mower" as seen above...

Broken Patella...

Yesterday I was approached by someone who works on my floor...

"Did you break your patella last year?" she asked.

The next 15 minutes went like this...

She and her friend were at a pool on Saturday when her friend slipped and, you guessed it, broke her patella. (The picture you're seeing is neither her knee or mine...)

The ambulance arrived and took her to the ER. They admitted her and on Sunday she had the surgery. She was to be discharged today...

My coworker was asking me what she could do for her friend... and also what to expect.

Oh man... I know EXACTLY what her friend has ahead of her this year... one rough year!

So I told her what was important to me: Bath chair, walker, socks with skid pads, snacks, Netflix gift card, a "grabber," and all of the support (cards, visits, emails, meals, etc).

I said, "The most important thing you can give her is yourself. You have no idea how much it means just to have a friend or relative be there for you."

My heart just breaks when I hear of news like this. Today I went to Physical Therapy and two people struck up a conversation in the waiting room.

One was a guy in his 30s. The other was a teenage girl on her way to college. Both had torn their ACL - he was 2 weeks from surgery, and hers was last week.

(NOTE: It's amazing to me to see people in PT so quickly after surgery, but I guess I just have to remind myself that mine was different)

Anyway, both of them blew it out playing basketball. He also said that his doctor had to repair the meniscus.

"Hmm... sure wish mine had thought of that!"

Interesting, both had the same doctor! Funny...

So once I went into therapy, Kendra wanted to watch me do my exercises. I've been doing them twice a day since Friday. Everything hurts... but I'm pushing because it feels good to be doing something "right" for once.

Anyway, I guess I passed because she said I was doing a good job. She also is glad I've moved up from 30 to 45 clamshells on each leg.

Then she took me into the machine room and had me get on their version of an "elliptical." It really isn't one... I think it's called an "Air Rider" or something like that. Anyway, once I was up and "running" I felt immediate pain.

It was like "bone on bone." She only wanted me to do it for 5 minutes, but it was a very long 5 minutes. I could have stopped, but the motion was so "free-ing" to me. I haven't been able to "run" in over a year, and I kept thinking it was like Forrest Gump running when he was a kid and the braces were breaking off.

Well, it wasn't that good... it was still very painful. She is concerned with the pain... especially because it's not on the side with the tear in my meniscus. I then moved on to a stationary bike, and that was a little better.

So my next session is the following Wednesday. She thinks that might be my last one with her until I go see the doctor. I think she sends the information to him so he can see my progress.

In the meantime, I'll continue to do my exercises twice a day... biking at least once a day for 8 minutes if I can take it... (it's just all kinds of bad pain)

There you have it...

Physical Therapy...

On Friday I went through my first physical therapy session... ever! If you've never experienced PT, it's amazing... painfully amazing!

My session started at 11, but I had to arrive 30 minutes early due to paperwork. While I was filling it out, Dr. Ramsey called me with the results of my MRI - the tear in my medial meniscus.

He said, "So we can either start PT and then work our way up to surgery... or do surgery and then PT. Either way, you'll need therapy after the surgery."

I said, "Well, I'm actually at the center right now about to go through my first session." His response was positive - which means, I think he wanted me to have therapy first.

I'm not sure if this will always be the case, but Kendra was my therapist. She seems to be running the show - the rest of them in the room always talked with her about what was going on with their patients.

She was very thorough in her questions - asking me everything from the accident to what I've been experiencing to what my goals are. Simply put, I want the pain to go away. I also want to walk up and down a flight of stairs with strength and control... and I'd like for my endurance to be lengthened. Going from someone who used to run to someone who has trouble walking a block, that's frustrating.

We also talked about something that I never understood until now: my leg collapsing. You see, there are times I'll just be walking along or standing and it just gives out. Do you have any idea the panic that happens when you're about to fall? That's been my experience.

Kendra told me it's due to muscle loss, and that she could help me with that. We also figured it happens more at the end of the day, when the leg is fatigued.

The first thing she did was to measure my mobility - she moved both legs around to compare. Then she wanted to see what she had to work with in terms of the knee - she felt all around that bone... which led her to ask again, "So how did this happen?" (I think it's pretty shocking for someone when they feel it for the first time)

You see, I've learned that people tend to laugh/make fun of me because of how it happened. Therefore, I keep the story very succinct: I fell down at a marathon and hit my knee on the pavement.

Well, that wasn't enough for her... and so I decided to tell her the real story... which caused her to grimace. At least now I know I'm working with someone who won't make jokes.

The rest of the hour was spent doing stretches (hamstring), flexing my quadricep muscle for 5 seconds/resting 3 seconds... for 5 minutes, leg lifts, knee bends (breaking through the scar tissue), and biking - 8 minutes without resistance.

Biking: I can go about 6 minutes before the knee gets upset. My doctor said to keep it less than 70 RPM. Well, I can only go about 40. For those that bike, I just want you to understand where I am...

It was truly an eye-opening experience. My leg is extremely weak... weaker than it should be at this point, according to Kendra. She said I have quite a ways to go, but that she thinks she can help alleviate the pain.

One of my exercises is called "clam shells." I lie on my side and bend my legs together... then open the top one up like a clam shell. It's supposed to strengthen the hip muscles, which take pressure off the knees. I do that for 30 times each leg... with a goal of doing 90 with each.

So when it was all over, I was worn out. I thought to myself, "I was told that the first day wasn't going to be that strenuous." Makes me worry about what is to come...

Kendra gave me homework... would you believe I'm to do everything I did in that first session TWICE a day? Well, I was so sore Friday night that I skipped it and just put ice on the knee.

Yesterday I went through both sessions, and today I've already been through one.

One final note: I told her that my father goes to her clinic, and she goes, "Who is your father?" I said, "Joel" and she goes, "REALLY? I LOVE Joel!!!" Then she went on to say how determined he is and that he's a good patient to work with.

Then she goes, "You must look like your mom because you look NOTHING like him." I said, "Well, he's my stepdad" and she laughed.

My next visit is Tuesday afternoon. Not sure how often I'll go through therapy, but so far it is a good start on this journey of recovery.

Another Surgery... Sheesh!!!

The doctor called and confirmed what he thought: I have a torn meniscus.

Let's all learn a new word together, ok???

In sports and orthopedics, a tear of a meniscus is a rupturing of one or more of the fibrocartilage strips in the knee called menisci. When doctors and patients refer to "torn cartilage" in the knee, they actually may be referring to an injury to a meniscus at the top of one of the tibiae...

Given I haven't done anything in the past year, I don't think I got this while sitting on the couch. Meaning... it probably happened with the accident.

Now, the meniscus won't heal on its own. It doesn't receive enough blood, so I've been told. Therefore, it has to be repaired via surgery if you want the pain to subside.

Given some people gripe at me whenever I show them any sort of "medical" images, I'm going to put them in links. You can look if you want. But don't yell at me if you're grossed out. And no, these aren't pictures of mine... I haven't seen them yet. This is what he described to me that I found on the web...

First, this is a healthy meniscus: Link

However, this is more like what mine looks like. The "bumpy/pimply" part at the top is the bone with arthritis on it, which I also have: Link

Here's the plan...

For the next month, I'm going to continue with Physical Therapy. I started that today (upcoming blog). Both my doctor and therapist believe the techniques I learn can help alleviate the pressure I'm putting on that knee. Less pressure=less pain.

In mid July, I'm going back to see my doctor. Most likely we're going to have to schedule a surgery... probably for August. When he goes in, he'll do several things:

1. Repair the meniscus.
2. Smooth out the bones to try and take out as much arthritis that he can to improve my quality of life.
3. Scope the knee for any bone fragments, which I probably have.

After that, more physical therapy. Let's just say I really discovered how "behind" I am today given what I experienced in PT.

So there you go... 3rd surgery on the knee coming up.

Oh yeah, he said that drill bit really made for some interesting pictures. To answer the question if he'll remove it? No... he'd have to filet the knee to get to it, and this is arthroscopic surgery. That means he'll go in through at least 5 small incisions instead of opening up that scar again.

Still Waiting...

The results are in...

However, I don't know anything yet.

Yesterday I only had one meeting, which was at 4:00 PM. That allowed me to be at my desk all day working on other projects.

And sitting next to the phone.

Wouldn't you know it... the doctor calls me while I'm in the meeting.

Sigh.

He left me a message saying he has the information about my knee but that the office closes at 4:30. I didn't get out of my meeting until 5:00.

Grr....

So this morning I called him back, but got the answering service. He is in surgery this morning. I was hoping to talk with him prior to going to my Physical Therapy appointment, which is at 11:00 AM.

Oh well.

Anyway, stay tuned. May have an update in the afternoon...

MRI...

Today I went in for my MRI.

If you've never had one, it's a much different experience from a regular X-RAY.

Last night it hit me - I've never had an MRI. Meaning, whatever damage the knee took from the smack on the pavement could take on a whole new perspective.

Or not.

Going into it, I'll say this: The "pessimistic" side of me thinks that this whole pain is just "my new life with a bum knee." So if they don't find anything, so be it.

They told me to show up at 2 for a 2:30 appointment... that way I would have the time to fill out all of the paperwork. One of the forms went through "great detail" to find out if you have anything "foreign" in your body.

"Uh... yeah... I've got a drill bit." Ha!

So I was guided into the room by someone I will just call "Chatty Cathy" who had a zillion questions ("What happened? Where does it hurt? etc. - we all know how much I like answering tons of questions) and instructions about what I'm to do and not to do... and then I saw what looked like a large waffle maker (See picture).

She then told me it would be loud, boring... and probably last about 45 minutes. "Seriously?" I thought it was "stick the leg in, snap a pic, and head on out." Now I know why the cost was $450. Hello Insurance!

The rule was simple: Don't move when it's noisy.

Well, I got up on the table and she put all of this "stuff" around my knee. Then, she slid me underneath the "griddle" and reminded me again, "Don't move."

So for the first 5 or so minutes, it was crazy. Loud noises. Noises that weren't regular... it was like buzzers and beeps and "machine gun fire." Crazy! I was like, "I thought she said some people sleep during this? Nobody could sleep through this bombardment!"

I then realized the knee was under direct assault... literally! I could feel it getting hot... like something was burning on it. But even nuttier were my muscles started flickering! They were going into little "spasms."

Great... so much for not moving!

Then it hit me - have you ever seen that movie "The Right Stuff?" There is a scene where they are put into this capsule for hours and they fire off all of these tests - loud noises, sirens, lights, etc. That's what it felt like!

After another 10 minutes, things got a little more "rhythmic." So much so that I decided to close my eyes... then I felt myself drift... and then I woke myself up with a "snort." (Yes, I snore!)

Not that I'm embarrassed by that... I mean, who really could hear me over all of that racket going on! So I finally decided to embrace it and off to slumberland I went...

I would sleep for about 10 or so minutes at a time, then the noises would stop and I'd wake up. Once they started up again, I drifted off... and the leg would just fire off more and more spasms.

Oh, and it wasn't just the noises but the vibrations... I think that also contributed to the sleepiness.

Finally, it seemed to be making the same noises it did at the beginning... so I figured this joy ride was about to end. Sure enough, it stops and she bursts through the door with a loud, "YOU'RE ALL DONE!"

Scared the crap out of me!

She then said, "Well, that drill bit made for quite a show! I think he'll be able to see what he needs, but it definitely caused problems with the pictures." Hmm...

Once I got off the table, the knee and most of my leg muscles were numb... it was the strangest sensation. I could barely stand up! Took about 10 minutes and everything woke up...

I then took my CD to the doctor (he's around the corner) and dropped it off with his receptionist.
So here is where we stand: He will receive a report tomorrow from the MRI group. Once he reviews that and my CD, he'll give me a call. I might here something by Friday... just my guess.

Houston, We Have a Problem...

As many of you noticed, I haven't been writing. In fact, it's been almost 2 months.

Why should I continue to write when it's the same thing over and over: "Knee hurts... knee hurts... oh yeah, the knee hurts."

It started to wear on me... not just the pain, but the constant "negativity" I felt I was expressing.

Over the past few months, I've also been frustrated. Frustrated with the pain, the lack of improvement, and in general, the overall mobility.

I've also had to listen to my parents harp on the fact that I should get a second opinion. They weren't that thrilled with my previous surgeon. And, coincidently, Joel had to go under the knife with his knee surgeon due to a torn meniscus just two weeks ago.

Lately I've been waking up in the middle of the night with, you guessed it, knee pain. I figured it's because I've been walking more. However, it started to bug me (mentally) - "Why if I'm told to walk more is the knee always hurting? It's been 7 months since my last surgery... shouldn't it be getting better and not worse?"

So with what I'm experiencing and feeling with the knee, as well as the voices of the 2 biggest hypochondriacs in the world, I decided, "OK, fine!" and made an appointment. Well, the appointment was today.

Dr. Ramsey is very personable - in fact, it's his practice. He's the only doctor and all he focuses on are knees.

The first person I met with was the nurse, who took down all of my information. She took a ton of notes - asked questions from "what happened" to "what's going on right now." Oh yeah, she asked, "Does it wake you up at night?"

Then they took several X-Rays. Normally I would get 2 per visit at the previous doctor. I think they took 5 this time - particularly, with my knee bent and weight distributed on it.

Then Dr. Ramsey came in. He asked a bunch of questions. And he asked me again, "Does it wake you up at night?" Hmm... must be something to this...

He had already reviewed the X-Rays, so he had an idea of what it looked like inside. While lying down, he moved the knee around to check for motion (actually, he moved both so he could get an understanding of what is normal for me).

He then did something extremely painful - he started poking the sides of my knees. Let's just cut to the chase: It was SO freakin' painful that my eyes watered! I was telling someone earlier, but I generally think the entire knee is just in pain. And, I usually focus on the kneecap. But he was pushing on the sides, particularly the meniscus, and I couldn't believe the streaks of pain shooting up from my leg!

Which led him to this: "You may have bone fragments and a possible tear in your meniscus."

Yippy Skippy...

(sarcasm)

Yes... surgery is a possibility if that's a true statement.

So here's what's going on: On Wednesday I'm going in for an MRI and I'll get the film/cd that day and deliver it to Dr. Ramsey. He'll review it and then give me a call. According to my parents, he's very involved with his patients so I should know something by the end of the week.

Speaking of the end of the week, he's prescribed Physical Therapy for me. Remember, previous doctor didn't think I needed it. While I probably should have had it back in December, at least now I have the opportunity to "learn" some techniques that I can do in the gym. PT is not going to be extensive - like 1 or 2 weeks.

He was also very honest with me. He said I probably will never run again. He also said I should avoid stairs. Instead, I need to focus on biking... swimming... eliptical. And, ahem, I need to lose weight. Also, wear soft-soled shoes. He said all of that should help.

I'm to ramp up the glucosamine + chondroitin - regularly taking that will help my joints. He also added taking 2 advil per day...

So there you have it.

I'll update the blog later in the week if there are more developments. I just can't believe I may have to have a 3rd surgery on this knee...