Whole Lot of Shakin' Going On...

A lot of people over the past year, when they see me, think "running" is what was taken away from me. Meaning, as if that's the only thing I lost...

The fact of the matter is, I've lost a lot... physically and emotionally. I won't talk about the latter in this blog. :-)

During today's therapy session, I was halfway through my exercises when I heard the girl next to me tell Kendra that "stairs" are still a problem.

Looking at her, I honestly couldn't see a scar on her knee. It was swollen, but I gathered it had been a while since she's been into therapy and was starting up again.

She talked about how difficult it is to go down stairs. Ironically, that's one of my most trying things to do. My doctor wants me to avoid going up/down a flight of stairs, but at my work I have a few I still have to go up/down when I go into/out of the building.

It also made me realize that I can't be alone in this... that others (like the guy in the picture above) struggle with simple tasks... and have to re-learn maneuvers that we all take for granted.

I started thinking about this issue as I was working through my exercises. "I wonder which one of these helps the most? Is there any way I can fast-track this process?" I know... I need to be patient... but geez louise I've been dealing with this crap for a year and a half now! I'm tired of being "The Gimp."

I then had one of those little conversations in my head... albeit, a little prayer. As I was doing the heel slides (my favorite because they hurt like anything!), I just said, "Lord, I hope all of this hard work will eventually allow me to go up/down stairs again like a normal person."

Friends... God was listening to my silent frustrations/prayer. I soon received my answer.

Kendra taught me 3 new exercises today, but one in particular (the last one) was particularly shocking (as well as DIFFICULT).

Overall, I think Kendra is pleased with my effort and determination. I'm working hard during our sessions, as well as at home. The results show when I come in and she can see how far I'm getting.

Whenever I'm making progress, she's ready to teach me something new. I'll skip the other exercises just so I can explain this one. It was the last one of the day.

On a 12" x 12" wooden board that is about 2-3 inches thick (height), I am to stand on one leg and bend it at the knee to lower the other leg until it taps the ground, and lift it up. Sounds simple, right?

Well it is... with my right leg.

Before I started, Kendra said, "I want 30." I thought, OK... this is going to be tough but I'm going to do it.

I stood on my bad leg and held the other one out. However, trying to bend was like trying to flex steel. Everything shook... I mean EVERYTHING! It was like an earthquake was going through my body as I tried in vain to bend that knee.

Immediately, my heart sank. I realized this was not going to go well at all. I could also see it on Kendra's face that this wasn't what she was expecting.

Kendra asked if I was in pain and I told her no, I wasn't hurting... I just had no control or support. I was just one big "shake."

I could tell this was freaking her out and so she said, "OK... let's focus on one." So I did... and it was as if the dam burst because I finally bent it enough that I could dip that right leg down an inch or two.

Earthquake and all...

After that she said to go for two and we worked on it where I could get to 5... and then I made it to 10. I was pouring sweat!

I told her this felt exactly like when I go down stairs. She said, "Actually, this is the exercise to help you do that successfully." Not to be over dramatic, but I can't tell you how much that hit me...

I know my eyes were "watery" talking with her because I had just had that conversation in my head with God.. and this has been one of my biggest frustrations since day one!

Kendra said the muscle has not been used in a very long time, and that we will be focusing on building that up in the coming weeks.

Well, I'll just say my spirits were sky high for the rest of the afternoon. Not only that we have a plan, but that God answers the quietest of prayers!

Even when expressed through frustration!