Life is All About Making Adjustments...

For those that know me, you know I don't like change. In fact, "change" isn't a big word in my vocabulary. I like "structure," "order," and "consistency."

Lying on my side under that pickup on Sunday and looking at that deformity that once was my knee, I knew then things were about to change.

It was pretty much confirmed yesterday after speaking with the doctor. This was going to be a long process of recovery. What was once normal is no more... and won't be for quite some time.

To say I'm "independent" would be a mild statement. I love my privacy, I like being by myself, and I try and go out of my way at times to do things without the help of others.

"Ch-Ch-Cha-Changes...."

I'm looking at everything now and saying, "OK... let's go with it." I can't turn back time, I can't make this go away, and I certainly am not going to have a pity party for myself because of this latest "event" in my life. Nope... I'm moving forward. But to do that, I have to accept reality and be open to change. In essence, it's time to embrace the "adjustments" to everything I knew beforehand...

Life as I once knew it is gone. I can't get up and go get something quickly... it's a process. Before moving, I have to map out my plan. If I'm by myself, I have to figure out how I'm going to lift my leg and adjust my body as it's going down. If someone is around, I try and get their help because they can lift at the ankle... which feels a little better than when I do it from the thigh.

I pretty much eat standing up now in the kitchen... putting my weight on that right leg and supporting myself with my crutches. Chandra has been great to prepare my meals, bring me drinks (I'm drinking a ton of water for some reason), and getting things for me that I realize are on the other side of the house.

Moving is a lengthy effort. I move pretty dang slowly... let's just say if I need to take a "break" during a commercial, the commercial is well over by the time I return to the couch.

Bathing? Have you ever thought about if you lost the use of one of your legs, what would you do? At first, the Heman in me thought, "Oh, I'll just balance on my right leg while in the shower." Well, since my lack of balance got me into this situation, then that ain't gonna happen. Even thinking about getting down into a tub (or getting out) seems out of the question. So the solution has been to use these "night-time baby wipes" that Chandra had left over from when her niece was here. Godsend! But still, I hate that I haven't fully showered since Saturday.

I mastered the art of sleeping with my leg propped up last night... I think. Now I keep the blankets on the side and pull them over right to left instead of at the foot of the bed. Makes it a bit easier when I have to get up and back in.

But overall, it's the sheer dependence on others that is so foreign to me. Yesterday at the hospital I realized how much I've leaned on Chandra and others. When someone could help me, it was so much easier. When I was doing things by myself, it was even more painful.

How is the pain by the way? It's constant... that's about the best word I can say. However, it ranges from a little bit of intensity to a lot. When it's getting to the "a lot" phase, I know I'm ready for more pills.

Waking up both mornings, I've had a headache. I think it's because the blood has gone downward from my leg. But, once I get moving, headache is gone.

Today the plan is for me to just rest up/get ready for the surgery tomorrow. From the "Too Much Information" department, I'm allowed to wear my underwear during surgery. However, I don't have any with a button in the fly and yours truly doesn't want the world to get to know him THAT well... so we'll be making a purchase today.

I'm responding to emails and phone calls as best as I can. The blog helps to keep people informed of what is going on... and it seems to explain more of the details. I've heard from a lot of people since displaying the X-Ray. I have pics from the race (more hospital ones, too), but I don't have the software I need to display the pics on my site. I'll post those at a later date.

Other than that, I'm just lying here on the couch next to a dog that sleeps more than any dog I've ever known. While I'm not much of a dog person, Zeus is a good dog. He likes to come check on me every once in a while, then goes back to sleep.

Just one more adjustment in my life... ha!