It's Not That Bad...

Well, for those that have had a morbid curiosity, there is the knee... unwrapped... in all its glory.

For those that have a weak constitution, you might as well load up another web page and surf this blog another day...

I decided to post a picture of the scar. Why? Well, for one, I'm tired of people asking me about it... or the knee... or anything else about it but DON'T want to see it. Why ask if you don't want to see it? I have to see it everyday... so why not join the party?

Another reason I figured everyone could take it is because my two nephews handled it quite well this week. In fact, they were pretty impressed by it! Although, I think the youngest believes that scar happened when I hit the curb... not due to the surgery to fix the kneecap. Oh well... maybe he'll stay away from curbs!

So, let me explain a few things about it.

First, it's a long scar. Notice how far up it begins from the top of the knee? That's basically because my upper kneecap was located right there. If you think that's gross, then you should have witnessed it in person. If you think THAT'S gross, then you should have been the one whose kneecap was sitting north of where it should be!

As I've told people, the scar is very straight until it gets to where the kneecap needed to be joined. Then it gets a little hairy - there are a few "zig-zags."

The whole knee is still fairly swollen and sore in some places. There is still nerve damage on certain spots, and I have that one area where I can see a definite wire protruding upward (it's on the left side at the top of the knee).

Finally, there is some scabbing. My nephews thought that was "infection," but my Mom explained that it is a good thing. That scab is about half of what it was a week ago, so hopefully it'll be gone soon.

Overall, it's extremely weak. Notice how skinny my legs are. Want to know something about atrophy? It hurts! Muscles that are diminishing tend to ache.

I'm moving around a little bit better each week, though. My mom asked me yesterday what my pain level was, and I told her it depends. On days I go into work, it's very sore that night and the next day. Probably about a 5 if you want to know the real truth.

Yesterday I was on it a bit too much... and given that I went into work on Friday, I had it elevated and iced last night... and before I went to bed, I succumbed to a Hydrochodone pill. That was very unusual, but I figured it was the only thing I could do to get rid of the pain so I could sleep.

Today, I've stayed mostly on this couch. Not a bad trade-off when it's approaching 100 degrees outside!

Anyway, that's a brief update. It's getting better, as you can see, and I'm still moving around... it's all about Independence, and I'm thankful for that!

Weather Damage

While I thought I had a lot of damage from last week's storm (patio table blew up!), my parents had an even worse experience. That is a picture taken by a Dallas Morning News photographer of a tree sitting on their house. The tree is now gone - took a crew of 8 just over 7 hours to cut it down and grind it up on Saturday. My Mom expressed, "What else are we going to be faced with this year?" In the past few months she's been in a car wreck, dealt with both of her siblings health issues, and then there's my little fun experience.

Here is the article:

Wind sends red oak crashing into Plano home

3:52 PM Thu, Jun 11, 2009 Valerie Wigglesworth/Reporter

Joel and Sue Riley were home in Plano with their grandchildren Wednesday night when they heard a big crash. "We looked out the front door and couldn't see anything but tree limbs," Sue Riley said. "It looks like someone just took a front-end loader and shoved over our tree."The 30-year-old red oak landed on the two-story house on Edgewater Drive, which is east of Custer Road. Riley said water leaks into the upstairs bedroom, the siding is torn off and gutters are hanging down. But they won't be able to do much until they can get the tree removed and see how much damage their house sustained. "That was quite a wind," Riley said.

Back from the Wedding...

What a weekend...!!!

While I was in Stillwater, I was asked, "So... any big trips planned this summer?" Hmm... have you looked at me???

This was my "trip" for the summer. My own personal vacation. Therefore, I was really excited to go away to this wedding!

Because I'm not comfortable driving long distances (still painful when I'm in the driver's seat for more than 30 minutes), I needed my very own personal chauffeur... AKA Chandra. We left Friday morning, and headed north to the land of the slow moving water.

Along the way, I sat in a "quiet/panic-like state" next to the world's most aggressive driver! To describe Chandra's driving as "freakishly crazy" is an understatement. I have never driven a long distance with her in the 12+ years we've known each other, so this was a whole new side of her that I witnessed from the "white-knuckled clenched" passenger seat!

Throughout the blinding speeds that approached "Warp 9" at times, I was usually able to discern the features from the driver in front of us due to our proximity to their back bumper. I think I realized that driving on the highway to Chandra was just a slower version of "NASCAR."

Chandra likes to multi-task while in the car - which allows her to drink, talk, email, text, and do her taxes - all while driving with her knees. I'm serious! Sweet Merciful Crap - I have the soiled undergarments to prove it! She still doesn't understand why that one driver flipped her off or when we almost careened with a semi! She even did the "mom move" with her arm on one occasion!

OK... so sorry Chandra... you know you're one of my best friends, but good gravy did I have to get that off my chest! Now, back to the wedding...

Laura is one of my dearest friends. We met at a church almost ten years ago, and have always held a close bond. She's been there for me through thick and thin, has one of the most amazing hearts, and is one of the few people who actually "gets" me.

I've known Britt since 1995 when we met as counselors at Pine Cove Christian Camp, and have been friends ever since. He's very rock-solid, is the same today as he was back then, and always is there for his friends.

Now while you may think that my sole purpose was to introduce these two for romance, I must say I had other intentions. Basically, I figured that they're both my friends, so I just want my friends to know each other. Makes it easier on me when everyone knows each other and gets along. God sure had other plans!

The wedding was great! It occurred on the OSU campus - including the rehearsal dinner, ceremony, and reception.

The bride is a MAJOR Oklahoma State University fan (alumnus), and the groom is about to finish up his degree from there (starting yesterday). So, there was a lot of Orange (school colors) involved throughout the event. The bride had an orange belt/sash on her dress, the bridesmaids had orange on their dresses, and the groom/best man had orange ties. Lots and lots of school spirit!

But the biggest surprise was when Pistol Pete (picture above) showed up at the reception! Laura arranged for the mascot to come in for pictures - and he even fired off his guns!

Chandra loved it - she probably took more pics with Pete than anyone else in the room! Kids were drawn to him, and the alumni in the crowd chanted the school letters.... "Oooo... Ssss... Uuuuuuuuuuu!"

So overall, I had a blast! I was so happy for the couple to get on with their lives (and stop the long-distance relationship!), to actually "travel" somewhere this summer, and to spend good times with my friends.

Albeit, a "speedy" one. :-)

Scar-tastic...

A benefit of showering without the brace? The medical tape/bandages have lost their adhesiveness.

Last night, I opened up the brace to let the knee breathe. Once I did that, I realized the bandages might be coming off.

After a few tense moments of removal, they finally came off. Would you like to know the details?

First off, the scar is 5-6 inches in length. Above the knee, it is very straight and somewhat thin. There is no "scabbing," either.

However, once it makes that turn downward, things start to change.

The scar gets a bit jagged and uneven, and there are some considerable scabs. The width of the scar expands, and you can tell there is more healing needed.

But to me, the most interesting aspect is the texture and shape of it all.

Immediately where the kneecap resides, you can see "pitting." There are some dents where the skin is trying to come together. It's a bumpy mess.

Remember how I'm not allowed to do any Physical Therapy? Well, I have visual evidence of why I shouldn't attempt that: There is a definite sharp rise on the left side of the top of my knee... it appears to be a wire that is pushing upward.

Yikes!

Anyway, all is well... it hurts, but it's manageable. My pain is a mixture of throbbing bones and muscles... but overall, no complaints. You just learn to deal with it.

By the way, I'm off to Stillwater, OK, for a wedding between two good friends this weekend. It will be my first "travel" experience since the accident - I was able to arrange for a handicapped room, so that should be fine.

I am wondering what I'll be thinking as I drive through Oklahoma City, though...

WAY Too Much...

Yesterday was a big day for me... it was my second day to go into the office.

As most of you know, I've been "working from home" since last week. It's been a bit of an adjustment... just getting myself back into the groove of things.

When you're out of the office for a month, it's a challenge on a multitude of fronts. Specifically, wrapping your brain around what you have missed. I've also had major stamina issues...

To answer the question, "Why don't you just work from home all of the time," my job requires at times for me to be "seen." Yesterday was one of those days.

My day started with a first: A shower without the brace on. Believe me, it was awesome! So long duct tape and trash bags! However, I had to be extra careful because I'm without the stability of the brace and I definitely didn't want to slip... could you even imagine the damage that would cause?

So I was able to successfully maneuver in and out of the shower - still using the shower chair, though. I don't see that going away for quite some time. But just to get to fully wash the bad leg was incredible. I think my shower was extra long yesterday...

After slowly getting dressed and reapplying the brace, I was ready to leave. Yesterday was also the first big driving day for me. While my doctor has cleared me to drive, it's an "eye opener" when you get behind the wheel again. Not only is it awkward climbing up behind the wheel, but you just feel "weird" going down the road. I decided I would only drive halfway to work - ride in with Kevin/Becky.

After 5 minutes on the road, I was already feeling a lot of pain. Your butt typically sinks into the seat causing your leg to rise up to the knee... and then there is the bend. That "bend" is what hurt like a mutha. Thirty minutes later, I was thankfully at their house... and sprawled across the backseat!

The morning wasn't too bad at work - I had a few things to do, but most of the time was spent talking with people who stopped by.

Kevin, Rob, and I went to Snuffer's for lunch... man do they make a good burger! It hit the spot, and they were nice to help me into and out of the car. Unfortunately, leaving the restaurant, I came down badly on my knee. Steps are still very hard for me... going up is fine. You can probably guess how difficult going down would be.

At 1, I was in the conference room... the purpose of my entire day. Every 6 weeks, I hold a meeting with about 50 people to go over our upcoming software release. Usually it's me standing up front going through the application. I knew this was going to be tough... especially on crutches.

Pretty much everyone and their mother's brother knows what happened to me... so I didn't have to go through the nitty-gritty details. But I did explain that the meeting would be a little different: First, I would be standing at times, and then sitting. It is still uncomfortable to do either for a period of time. I also informed them that I wasn't doing this alone - that I had arranged for several guest speakers. This was a bonus as it allowed me to relax.

The meeting went off without a hitch - although it was pointed out to me that I was sweating a few times. Given that is somewhat normal if you know me, it was also due to some painful throbbing!

I had another meeting in the afternoon, but generally sat at my desk and did some of my normal duties. Our release is this Friday, and I will be off that day (going out of town for a wedding). However, I basically just wanted to go home. I was starting to be miserable around 3:00.

Just after 5, we began our departure from the office. I was done. Spent. Get me the heck out of Dodge! When we got back to Kevin/Becky's, I was so tired and sore... but I still had a 30 minute drive by myself to go through. Yay...

Before I left, I adjusted the seat... placed another floormat in the front for my leg to be a little higher... and sat on a pillow (nice visual, eh?). It was a better experience, but it still hurt like hell and I just wanted to get home. Even though my truck is on Empty, I didn't care... get me to my couch!

So last night I just layed on this couch. I was so tired... and by 9:00, I was heading to bed. It's hard to describe the exhaustion, but it's like I had most of my blood drained out of me and I just had no comprehension of what was going on around me. I really don't remember what I watched on TV.

I slept all night long... and this morning, I needed about another half-day of sleep! But I got up and got moving and here I am again on this couch. I'm still wiped out... but coming back from the fog.

I've talked with Rob (boss) and I'm going to try and have more flexibility going forward when I go into the office. Basically, I'm going to try and schedule my meetings in the mornings and leave work when I start "feeling it" like I did yesterday. I'll just come home and work from right here on the couch.

A friend told me that for every day you're out of the office, it takes 2 to recover. Sometimes 3. If that's true, I have a long time before I can get my stamina back...

A Few Steps Forward... One Step Back

Yesterday was my second follow-up visit to see my doctor... and it was 4 1/2 weeks since my surgery.

Time for a pin to come out of the brace!

NOTE: OK, I want to make sure we're all on the same page here - when I say "remove a pin from my brace," I mean the brace... not my leg. There are no pins going from the brace into my knee. I do have a pin in my knee, but it's all sealed up in there. Nothing is attached to the brace.

When we arrived, the first thing was to get another X-Ray of the knee. Nothing has changed, so I don't need to display another picture of the X-Ray.

Doctor Rutherford then came in and examined the picture and said everything looks good. Whew! He then removed the brace, and started moving my leg around... or, specifically, my knee.

He then gave me the news: "We're going to move you up to 60 degrees of movement." Two weeks ago, he indicated it would just be 45 degrees. Wow! I guess things are healing up pretty good.

Then the news just seemed to get better. "I'm also going to clear you to start driving." I almost fell off the table! Are you kidding me? I can have some of my independence back? Holy Freaking Moly!

"Are you still showering with the brace on?" he asked.

"Yep," I quickly replied.

"OK, well you can start to shower without it. That should make things easier. Just don't bend that knee when you're in there, and put the brace back on as soon as you're out."

Wow! I was stunned! Remember, I was told on the 2nd day by his Physician's Assistant that this brace would be my "friend" until September... that I'd never remove it. Now I'm getting to remove it for showers! You have no idea how much easier things are going to be.

He did make sure I understood that I'm not standing on it when I'm showering - I still need to sit on the shower chair.

Then I asked a few questions of my own. He informed me that I won't be going through any Physical Therapy due to the severity of the injury. He said, "Think about it - that kneecap needs to be stable to heal and become solid. If you're moving it, you're causing it to weaken."

He thinks my leg will strengthen the more I walk around - which he wants me to do as much as I can take (using crutches or the walker).

I asked about the nerve damage, and if I'll ever have feeling on the top of my knee again. He said maybe, and maybe not. When he made the cut, he cut across a good amount of nerves. They may never heal back to the way they were. Oh well...

I finally asked him how far apart were the two pieces of my kneecap. He said, "About 2 inches. But, when you bent your knee they went further apart." Yikes!

They then got down to business with adjusting my knee brace. After removing the pins (one on each side) from the hinges, they broke the sides of the brace to allow flexibility. Finally, they cut off about 6 inches from the top of the brace. So while I previously had 3 Velcro straps on the top, and 3 on the bottom... I now just have 2 on the top.

The result is that this brace now fits more like a bulky sock... instead of a peg leg! Overall, it feels nice... comfortable... it doesn't bother me as much as it did. However, there is a downside.

With the added flexibility, it's caused a lot of pain. 60 degrees of movement is a huge jump from zero degrees. It will bend as I'm moving and hit a point that just screams with pain! Typically, if I'm walking about 10 feet, I'll hit at least one step that causes me to almost buckle over with a jolt of pain. Not fun.

I'm assuming this is to be expected. However, I've had a lot of "ache" and "pain" today... and throbbing numbness. Lots of that! So... I've started taking the hydrochodone again. The Tylenol just wasn't doing the trick. Hopefully this won't last long...

Tomorrow I get behind the wheel - just going to drive halfway to work so I don't overdo it. I've taken one spin around the block, and it wasn't too bad. A little tension on the knee... but I could get in and out of my truck - and that was great.

So while I've made some strides, having to go back on the pain meds due to the problems hasn't been very fun. I think this is a temporary setback... stay tuned.

Ode To a Hermit...

Irony hit me like a Mack Truck this weekend... especially after writing the previous blog!

I have lived in my house since 2001. I have basically 3 neighbors: The two on both sides of my house, and the one directly behind my garage. I'm not very "social" with my neighbors... in fact, I rarely say anything to anyone around here.

This is NOT Mr. Robinson's neighborhood...

The house that is behind me has had 3 separate owners since I've lived here. The two on the sides have always had the same. In fact, there is only one neighbor that I have had conversations with, and that guy owes me $1,000 for his portion of the fence... which was built three years ago. Yeah, good luck getting him to pay!

On the other side, a couple resides there with their triplets and teenage daughter. I've never said anything to them, other than "Hey" or just a nice friendly wave.

On Saturday, I hobbled out to the mailbox to pickup my mail. It's a big deal, actually, because it's pretty much an effort any way you slice it.

As I was heading back, that couple pulled up and the kids unloaded. They had been to a soccer game. While everyone was heading into the house, the wife saw me and asked, "How are you doing?"

I said, "Oh, pretty good. I really did a number on my knee."

She replied, "Yeah, I heard. I'm so sorry to hear about that." I figured she must have run into my parents on one of their visits. She then said, "If you need anything, we're just right here. You can ask us for anything."

I said, "Oh, I appreciate that. Thanks." Right then, I decided to remove my "cloak of hermitude" and introduce myself. "I'm Regan, by the way."

She replied, "I know." She then paused and looked at me... and then said while pointing to herself, "It's Petra."

I stared at her for a second and then thought, "Why is Petra at my neighbor's house?" And then it hit me...

"Oh my gosh! Petra??? YOU live there?"

By then her husband was laughing in the background, and she was too. You see, I work with Petra! She is a manager in my office, is one of my User Liaisons between IT and the business, and serves on the same committee that I'm on!

I told her that I thought when she said she had heard, it was from my folks. She said it was at the office and that "Everyone knows."

While Prudential is a big company, our office is about 130+ people. What are the odds that two employees of the same company live next door to each other... especially given the population of the Metroplex!

She found out last December when she received my mail, but her husband delivered it to me. When he arrived, I was on the phone so we never discussed the connection. She then told me that she thought I always knew it was her - "You're always waving to us!"

I think we both walked away a little bit shocked at how small of a world it really is... and maybe I'll be a better neighbor for it all.

It truly blew me away...