Accidents...

Have you ever heard of the saying, "Most accidents happen around your house?" Well let me tell you... that is VERY true!

Since being on the "limited mobility" track these past few weeks, I've come very close to having some potential "Sweet Merciful Crap" mistakes!

Two weeks ago, I was lying on this couch watching TV. It was one of those moments where I hadn't expected to move, so I unwrapped the leg completely - brace and ACE bandage. You have no idea how good that feels...

Well, the phone rang... and it wasn't next to me.

I must confess, there have been a few times ("VERY FEW" for you lecture mongers!) that I have maneuvered around this house without anything on the leg. But, I went very slowly and I was on the walker... just kind of dragged the bum leg along.

OK, so the phone rang. I figured, "Alrighty... I think I can make it to the phone back in the kitchen." As I started to get off the couch, I picked up the leg to bring it carefully down. Unfortunately, I didn't have a good grip on it and it slipped out of my hand. "BAM!" it crashed to the floor.

A pain that I can only describe as, "Oh Mommy!!!" ran up my leg and started the synapses going at such a rate that I screamed bloody murder! Brutha, you ain't felt a pain like that until you experience something like I did. I thought I ripped my wires loose... or snapped them. Did the broken kneecap just separate?

The leg wasn't ready to go at that angle, nor at that speed, and especially not at that impact! It took me about 1o minutes of sheer agonizing "sweating and painful breathing" before I could regain my composure... And the phone call? It was a Gallup poll. UUGH!

Lesson Learned: DO NOT GET UP OFF THIS COUCH WITHOUT THE LEG SECURED! And... LET THE PHONE RING! YOU HAVE VOICEMAIL FOR A REASON YOU DOPE!

Another recent incident happened as I was getting out of the shower. Prior to the accident, my bathroom had a few rugs sitting along the linoleum floor. Well, once I started showering with the trash bag-covered brace, and moving around with the walker in there, they went away and we covered the floor with towels. It just made it easier.

In an attempt to get back to normal, I brought back the rugs a few weeks ago. So far, no problems. I was off the walker in there, and I was doing fine without the towels. Plus, I'm showering without the trash bags...

Well, last week we had a problem. As I was coming out of the shower, I stepped onto a gap between two rugs and my right leg (good one) slipped. It almost went out from under me! I don't know how I did it, but my inner "balance" kicked in and I caught myself. Could you imagine the damage I would have done had I fallen?

Lesson Learned: PUT TOWELS DOWN ON THE FLOOR BETWEEN THE RUGS YOU NINNY!

Well, this whole blog came about because of what happened tonight as I was coming home from work. Remember, my stamina is downright nothing... my tank is empty most of the day as it is, but add in the physical exertions of going to and from work, and I'm literally running on fumes by the end of the day.

My routine is this: I go into work on Mondays-Wednesdays-Fridays. My goal is to put meetings on those days, if at all possible. The DART train station is about a 15 minute drive from my house. However, it takes me about 15-20 minutes to walk from my truck to the train once I'm parked (my doctor won't give me a handicapped pass). Once I'm on the train, I usually sit in the handicapped seat (as long as the "I'm-physically-fit-boneheads" aren't sitting in it - which has happened twice and they won't move!). 25 Minutes later, I'm at my stop downtown and I take a 15+ minute sweating-stroll to the office. When the day is over, usually around 3:30, I reverse the process...

So I'm tired... and not thinking clearly... which I guess is what happened today. Once I got to my house, I hopped out of my truck. Not thinking clearly (I've covered that, right???), I came down first on my left foot... the bad one... the one that has wires in the knee and is still swollen and bruised! "Mother Puss Bucket!" and some other choice words came out of my mouth, along with some small screams at possibly a tone the local dogs could only hear. If you haven't gathered, it hurt like a mutha...!!!

Lesson Learned: DO NOT EXIT TRUCK WITH BAD LEG FIRST... YOU DUMBASS!!!!

So I've had a few accidents, some close calls, and plenty of lessons learned. But honestly... haven't we all? Isn't that what life is all about? We laugh and cry and experience the pitfalls... but hopefully we learn from our mistakes and make better choices in the future...

Like, "Hey... that barrier is there for a reason. Don't jump it!" :-)