Today's Dr. Visit...

It's been two weeks since my last visit to see Dr. Ramsey , so I was interested to see how he thought I was doing.

His first comment was regarding the healing of the knee. Apparently it looks good... of course, compared to a normal knee, it still looks like a train wreck.

I then had to lay on my back while he checked my strength and mobility. He was very pleased with how far I could bend my knee, as well as the muscle tone. I told him I've been working hard with Kendra.

Then it was time for him to remove the stitches. Four of the holes that he made had stitches that would dissolve. However, the large one below the knee needed regular stitches. This is the one he went through to remove the suture.

He wanted to remove them before they became a part of my body. While he was taking them out, I guess they proved more difficult than he expected. A few times he was grimacing and saying, "I'm really trying not to hurt you."

Well, as long as he wasn't sticking another needle into my knee, I wasn't complaining! Actually, I don't have much feeling on the surface of my knee. I guess whatever was going on, he must have thought it was causing me pain. I didn't feel a thing.

Once he finished, I noticed him doing something and then I figured it out - he was getting ready to put a bandaid on my knee. Why do I need one of those? I soon figured it out - apparently I was bleeding.

We then had a talk.

The previous two visits, I was either about to pass out from the pain (knee draining) or I was still a little loopy from being on the pills. I wanted to find out what my life is going to be like now that he's done all of that cutting.

Stairs: When I'm at work, my office occupies two floors. The stairs are right outside from my desk, and it's very convenient to take them. He wants me to avoid stairs as much as I can in the future. However, for the next four weeks, he wants me to put them out of my mind completely. I'm to take the elevator.

Appearance: My knee hasn't looked normal since April 26, 2009. I don't care about the scars on the outside, but I'm wondering will it ever not be so swollen? He said it will never look like a normal knee, but it will look a little better (compared to the other one). He wants me to get on a regimen of taking Aleve twice a day... for a very long time. He said it's not for pain, but for the swelling. I couldn't take this during the past few weeks because the body needs to heal inside without fighting the anti-inflamatories. Now, I'm ready. Hopefully this will do the trick.

Walking: He wanted to know how far I have to walk to get to work. I told him it's about two blocks from where the train drops me off. He asked if I wanted a handicapped tag - he has the form that I could get for 6 months. It's tempting... but right now I told him I'd see how it goes. Besides, it's so much easier taking the train from where I live compared with driving.

Exercise: He's told me this before, but my future cardio will come from biking... or swimming... or elliptical. My knee can't take any sort of pounding. I've really been pushing myself on the biking (stationary), so I'm hoping to try doing some outdoor biking in a few weeks. Jason has already said he'd bike with me once a week. I figured if I could bike on my own and then have a good "long" day on the weekends, that'd be a pretty decent plan.

He wants to see me in 4 weeks - 2 days shy of my 40th. Overall, he thinks everything is looking great and he said I need to keep up with the hard work.

That's my plan...

I think last time I trusted my previous doctor in that all I needed to do was to walk and everything would fall into place. This time around, I'm discovering that I need to work at it AND I'm encouraged to work at it!

I can see the results... my therapist and doctor can see the results. And hopefully, the harder I work, the more "normalcy" will return to my life.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm fighting for "my life" here. I want it back. Badly! And I'm very determined to get it back through blood, sweat, and tears!