What's Your Excuse???

Today at Physical Therapy, Kendra saw me attempting to balance for 30 seconds on my one bad leg... shaking uncontrollably... and said,

"I love it when you're shaking!"

Shaking means, "You're doing it!"

I've hit the right spot. I'm working the muscle. And I'm freakin' dying!!!

I love it... too!

I've shared this before, but I'm really fighting for my life here. It's no secret - I want my life back.

It's not all about running...

It's my independence. It's my abilities that I've lost. In essence... it's the "me" that I want back. Senor Independent.

I know what my life was like prior to the break: I was a runner! I was a hiker! I could go up and down stairs without a care in the world. I was active...

I also know what my life was like between the first surgery and the second: Painful! Hinged! Locked up! I couldn't bend the knee without feeling the wires inside. In fact, they poked the skin all the time. I was counting the days until those suckers were cut out. To me, "life" was about to start up again!

And then, the next phase: Life between surgery number 2 and number 3. I took my doctor's advice: No need for therapy. Get out and walk. Well, I did... and it was painful. I kept thinking, "OK... keep walking and next week it will get better." It didn't. In fact, it got worse.

Then I went through a period of, "OK... fine... this is my life." I'll just learn to live with the pain, deal with the difficulties of managing stairs, never run again, and continue to plop an ice pack on the knee every night. Que Sera Sera...

Thankfully, I had 2 suitcases on my back: Parents. They harped on me over and over that I needed another opinion. I think it came to a head during Memorial Day weekend. Both of them were shocked at the ice packs I was using each night. When I told them this was a nightly ritual, that sent them over the edge.

Which brings me to today... Why do I work so hard? Why am I shaking so much and making Kendra smile? Why am I the only person in the room that appears to be sweating?

Because I want "it" back! Badly! I want my "active life" back in the worst way!

While Kendra wants me to work hard, she cautions not to push it. When I told her I rode 6 miles on Saturday and rode 60 minutes total by days end, she was impressed. But, she wanted to know how I felt. Yes, I was sore. But when am I not... you know???

So it hit me today... I know what my excuses were before. And I know that I probably could just hang it up and not go through therapy. But for me, it's a choice. A choice to either "push through the pain" and get my life back... or become sedentary.

How many people have you seen who have a medical condition and choose not to work out? My father, Joel, is like me. He had a knee issue that kept him from walking - so he got it fixed and went through therapy. He wanted his life back. He made a choice.

Those of you who don't have a medical issue like this have a choice, too. You start and end your day... have you made positive choices for your life?

I want to encourage you, if you're not already, to choose wisely! Choose to be active. If you can't do it daily, do it every other day. Go for a walk. Ride a bike. Park further out. Take the stairs!!!

Let's all get rid of our excuses... and fight for our lives!

Latest News from Therapy...

Thursday was a little different... and VERY long!

When I arrived, I had to fill out a "scorecard" on what my range of difficulty is on a variety of normal, everyday occurrences. Example: What amount of difficulty do you have walking, lifting a bag of groceries, running, etc.

It was the same form I filled out when I started therapy... but I think they wanted to know what type of improvement I've experienced.

In some ways, I think I've improved a lot. Let's say when I started, most things were "Extreme Difficulty/Unable to Perform."

Now, I feel like I'm in the "Moderate" difficulty range.

Next, they decided to take some measurements. They pulled out their compass and had me stretch it out to see how flat I could make my leg. Right now I'm about 1 or 2 degrees off. However, when I flex to push the knee down, it becomes 0 degrees - which is the goal without flexing.

They measured me on the bend... prior to doing "Heal Slides," I could bend it 116 degrees. But after about a minute of heal slides, I could get it to 123 degrees. The goal is 125, which is what my other knee can do.

I then continued on with my exercises. These include quad flexing, leg lifts, more bending, leg presses, clam shells, bridging, and lots and lots of balancing.

The picture above is "similar" to what I have to do. Instead of a ball under the board, it's another board. You have to try and balance on it for 2 minutes going side to side. Then after that you flip around and try and balance front to back.

They also introduced an exercise where I stand on the bad leg for 30 seconds and try and balance. Not fun.

Then, my new favorite (sarcasm): Knee bend. This is the one that just kills me every time. I stand on a board and force myself to bend down. I have to do 30 of these. Misery!

This all took about an hour and a half. I then had to ride the bike for 30 minutes - which I did - as it's considered a "milestone." This week they'll add resistance.

While I was on the bike, Kendra's intern came over and asked me how my exercises were going at home. I told her before I went to work, I could get in 2-3 sessions a day. Now that I'm at work, I get in 1 a day and 2 on the days when I go to therapy.

Part of me has wondered why she asked - does she think I'm not doing them? I mean, personally, I feel like I'm working my tail off.

Saturday was a BIG therapy day. I ran through my routine of exercises, and then I decided to get on my bike and take on the great outdoors. I biked for 40 minutes and went just over 6 miles. It was a beautiful morning - the temps were in the low 70s!

Then, I went through another session in the afternoon and biked 20 minutes.

Today I spent most of my time in a car driving to and from Longview. How does it feel? Dang sore! That's just a long time to be doing that... I think it was 5 hours of driving.

Glad to be back home and on the couch!

Preach It, Brutha!!!

I hope you guys can watch this video. It's less than 2 minutes, but it definitely says a lot.

If you've been following this blog for the past year, you might remember an entry last September about Robert Griffin III. As quarterback of my Baylor Bears, he went down with a torn ACL...

It was a devastating injury... not only for him, but for all Baylor fans because our season went down with him.

While an ACL injury is a little different than what I experienced, it still is a difficult to overcome. Your knee is still opened up, you go through the same pain, and you have to go through therapy to regain what you lost.

With that said, I've been following his recovery very closely due to the similarities. When he speaks, I listen!

To see him running and cutting is inspirational to me. While I wish him well for the success I hope for my Bears, I really hope he doesn't have to go through this ever again.

Baylor plays Sam Houston State on September 4. I can't wait to see RGIII take the field!

Rockin' the Bike...

One of the exercises I've been encouraged to take up is biking. Not only does my therapist support it, but also my doctor. In fact, he's an avid cyclist.

Biking to me over the past 7 or 8 years has been on the trails - I really like mountain biking. However, jumping logs and rocks and going up and down dirt hills isn't really in the cards for me at this point.

Throughout my therapy, I've enjoyed getting on the stationary bike. The progress has been very tangible to me - I can see and feel the results!

Now, I'm ready for a new challenge - biking outdoors.

In order to accomplish this, I had to purchase road tires for my mountain bike. The new tires, called "slicks," replace the knobby "dirt" tires so one could ride smoother on pavement. I'm all about the smoother ride...

If you know anything about Dallas, you know it's VERY hot these days. In fact, it's the hottest August on record... EVER. I think it was 105 degrees Saturday and Sunday, and today it hit 107. Incredible!

So instead of slaving over a bike in a hot garage, I spent most of the day Saturday putting the new tires on my bike... in the living room! Let's just say it's good I'm single...

Which led to Sunday morning. I put on my Garmin Forerunner (wrist GPS), turned on my iPod, and out I went around 8:30 AM.

I had no idea how it would go. I've only been biking for 3 weeks. How would the knee respond? How long could I ride?

One thing I quickly discovered was I needed to raise up my seat... like WAY up. The higher the seat is, the less bending you have to do with the knee. You have a longer reach, and it made it a lot more comfortable.

I decided to focus on the rotation - the constant motion I was making with my leg/knee. It definitely felt different compared to the stationary bike. Outside, you deal with inclines... wind... and variations in speed.

My chosen course was one I was familiar with - my neighborhood. I used it during all of my marathon training days, so I know the obstacles.

Do you realize the last time I ran this route was April 22, 2009? One thing that has changed is the neighborhood. I used to run in a subdivision that was about 2/3 built. Now, it's fully developed. I was shocked to see all of the houses.

Being outside was "freeing" - that's probably the best word I can describe. I felt extremely independent, excited that I was outside in the morning air, and that I was actually an athlete again... or trying to be one!

If you were to see me riding past your house, you'd probably think, "That is one slow dude."

Yep, I wasn't breaking any records. I discovered my average speed was 8.3 mph and that my maximum speed was 11.9 mph (probably coming down a hill!).

For comparison: When I last ran this course, I was averaging a 6 mph pace. So, I'm biking now just a little faster than a jog.

Halfway through, I knew I was feeling the pain. My knee was very sore - probably from all of the normal therapy and then this little bonus activity. After about 3.5 miles, I started heading towards home. I decided I wanted to end with 5 miles.

So, what you see in the image above is me riding around and heading back to my house. The little blue mark is the halfway point.

It took me 37 minutes, but I achieved the 5 mile goal. I honestly felt great... and hope to do it at least once or twice a weekend (early!).

So, for those locally that don't mind a slow pace, I'm up for a ride!

Building Muscle...

I think my hard work is paying off...

When Kendra first approached me at therapy today, she wanted to know how I've been feeling since Tuesday's workout. I told her, "I've been extremely sore." She asked where, and I pointed to a point just above the knee.

She said, "That's the bottom of the quad, and you know exactly what we did to work that. It has a long way to go to get back to normal."

I think that's the story with a lot of my muscles...

A few weeks ago, I was at rock bottom. My strength was "non-existent," and I knew I had a long way to go.

When I first started my PT almost two weeks after my surgery, I struggled with just about everything I was asked to do. In fact, my session lasted less than 40 minutes because Kendra didn't want to cause any pain.

My knee was still really swollen, my stitches weren't exactly "finished" healing the wound (I busted one at one point!), and I was still using the walker at home.

I remember when I first started doing clam shells. It was so freaking painful... to get to 30 was pushing it. Today I did 100.

How about when I first got on the bike: I was going at 25 RPM and it took everything I had to make it to 10 minutes. Today my RPM (cadence) is around 65 and I can easily make 25 minutes (the only reason I get off is because my butt hurts!).

One of the exercises is in the picture above. Instead of using both legs, I'm to try and go as long as I can with the bad leg. The goal is to go a full 5 minutes with one leg.

When I first learned this exercise, I struggled big time. I could go about 15 seconds (a few dips) with one leg and then the majority of the time I spent using both legs. Today I realized I'm now able to go a majority of time with the one leg... but I still can't make it the full time with just the one leg.

The point I'm making is it feels so good to be making progress. I can feel the results... my muscles hurt! Ha! But, it's a good feeling.

I probably can compare it a little to my marathon training. If you remember (for those that have been following this blog for several years), you don't just go out and say, "I'm going to run 26.2 miles." You have to work up to that.

The first week I would focus on getting to 2-3 miles consistently... in a few weeks I'd be up to 5 miles on a run. Eventually, I could get to running around White Rock Lake (9 miles) in a single run after a few months.

I guess that's the same here...

Case in point: Tuesday's blog focused on how difficult it was for me to bend the knee to get to that point where I could take a "down" step. I struggled to get the first one... and then, in time, I made it to 10.

Today, I made it to 30. Yay Me!

Kendra was very pleased, and said I had a great workout today. She said I'm just making awesome progress.

Well, I'm determined... that's one characteristic I have in my nature. I know what I lost, and I want it back. "Eye of the Tiger!"

But frankly, I just think I've got a great therapist who knows how to push me... I can't wait to see where I am in a few more weeks!

Whole Lot of Shakin' Going On...

A lot of people over the past year, when they see me, think "running" is what was taken away from me. Meaning, as if that's the only thing I lost...

The fact of the matter is, I've lost a lot... physically and emotionally. I won't talk about the latter in this blog. :-)

During today's therapy session, I was halfway through my exercises when I heard the girl next to me tell Kendra that "stairs" are still a problem.

Looking at her, I honestly couldn't see a scar on her knee. It was swollen, but I gathered it had been a while since she's been into therapy and was starting up again.

She talked about how difficult it is to go down stairs. Ironically, that's one of my most trying things to do. My doctor wants me to avoid going up/down a flight of stairs, but at my work I have a few I still have to go up/down when I go into/out of the building.

It also made me realize that I can't be alone in this... that others (like the guy in the picture above) struggle with simple tasks... and have to re-learn maneuvers that we all take for granted.

I started thinking about this issue as I was working through my exercises. "I wonder which one of these helps the most? Is there any way I can fast-track this process?" I know... I need to be patient... but geez louise I've been dealing with this crap for a year and a half now! I'm tired of being "The Gimp."

I then had one of those little conversations in my head... albeit, a little prayer. As I was doing the heel slides (my favorite because they hurt like anything!), I just said, "Lord, I hope all of this hard work will eventually allow me to go up/down stairs again like a normal person."

Friends... God was listening to my silent frustrations/prayer. I soon received my answer.

Kendra taught me 3 new exercises today, but one in particular (the last one) was particularly shocking (as well as DIFFICULT).

Overall, I think Kendra is pleased with my effort and determination. I'm working hard during our sessions, as well as at home. The results show when I come in and she can see how far I'm getting.

Whenever I'm making progress, she's ready to teach me something new. I'll skip the other exercises just so I can explain this one. It was the last one of the day.

On a 12" x 12" wooden board that is about 2-3 inches thick (height), I am to stand on one leg and bend it at the knee to lower the other leg until it taps the ground, and lift it up. Sounds simple, right?

Well it is... with my right leg.

Before I started, Kendra said, "I want 30." I thought, OK... this is going to be tough but I'm going to do it.

I stood on my bad leg and held the other one out. However, trying to bend was like trying to flex steel. Everything shook... I mean EVERYTHING! It was like an earthquake was going through my body as I tried in vain to bend that knee.

Immediately, my heart sank. I realized this was not going to go well at all. I could also see it on Kendra's face that this wasn't what she was expecting.

Kendra asked if I was in pain and I told her no, I wasn't hurting... I just had no control or support. I was just one big "shake."

I could tell this was freaking her out and so she said, "OK... let's focus on one." So I did... and it was as if the dam burst because I finally bent it enough that I could dip that right leg down an inch or two.

Earthquake and all...

After that she said to go for two and we worked on it where I could get to 5... and then I made it to 10. I was pouring sweat!

I told her this felt exactly like when I go down stairs. She said, "Actually, this is the exercise to help you do that successfully." Not to be over dramatic, but I can't tell you how much that hit me...

I know my eyes were "watery" talking with her because I had just had that conversation in my head with God.. and this has been one of my biggest frustrations since day one!

Kendra said the muscle has not been used in a very long time, and that we will be focusing on building that up in the coming weeks.

Well, I'll just say my spirits were sky high for the rest of the afternoon. Not only that we have a plan, but that God answers the quietest of prayers!

Even when expressed through frustration!

Catching Up...

If you noticed, I haven't updated the blog since Tuesday.

Well, something happened on Wednesday: I started back to work.

I got really busy. Even though I was working from home on Wednesday and Thursday, I was still attending therapy sessions. When I finished up work, I had my own therapy session to work through.

So, my time is very constrained now.

Friday I went into work. I'll get to that in a bit...

On Wednesday at therapy, Kendra introduced some new exercises that I can only do at the clinic. One is for me to lie on my back on an incline machine. I guess I would call this similar to a leg press, in that I have to push myself up the track.

However, I am not to do a full knee bend or a knee lock. Once I get up to the end of the extension, I need to drop it down a few inches. After I do a few of these, I have to remove my right leg and just put all the weight on my left.

Believe me... it's incredibly tough. But, I really like this because I can feel the burn... I can tell my muscles are working and getting stronger.

Another exercise I do at the clinic is a "board balance." Think of a piece of plywood that is probably 20x15 inches. Underneath is a 1-inch board that runs the length of the plywood. I stand on this and balance (try to balance) for 2 minutes. It's rockin' and rollin' - but it forces me to use muscles that I've lost. It's very intense. Then I switch and do it a different way... so the first way I'm going side to side. The second time I'm working on balancing front to back.

In addition to these two exercises, I'm also doing clam shells and bridging (see picture above). Clam shells is me lying on my side with my legs together and lifting the top leg like a clam shell. This puts the focus on the hips, which adds muscle and puts more weight on them rather than the knees. I can do about 50 each of these.

Bridging is pretty tough. When I go up, you can see the intensity is on the bent knee. I have to try and hold it for 2-3 seconds, and then come back down. I can do 50 of these as well.

So those are my new exercises... which, added to the current ones, just lengthens my therapy sessions. Plus, I'm still riding the bike at 25 minutes a session... doing it 2-3 times a day.

On Friday I went into work. It was a long walk from the train station to my office. I actually stopped twice to catch my breath/let the pain subside. I walk pretty slow, too.

When I arrived, my boss/coworkers were surprised that I was wearing jeans... that I wasn't on crutches... and that I seemed to be walking good. Apparently they thought I would be in pretty bad shape.

My day was busy, and I need to not walk around as much as I did. I think that wore me out. When I got home, I was so tired/sore that I just didn't have it in me to do a therapy session. I ended up parking myself on the couch and going to bed around 10.

Saturday was a good day in terms of workouts - I completed two lengthy sessions and felt like I accomplished a lot.

My schedule this week is to go into the office on MWF and working from home Tuesday/Thursday. Those two days are my therapy sessions with Kendra.

So there you go - wanted to catch everybody up.

Today's Dr. Visit...

It's been two weeks since my last visit to see Dr. Ramsey , so I was interested to see how he thought I was doing.

His first comment was regarding the healing of the knee. Apparently it looks good... of course, compared to a normal knee, it still looks like a train wreck.

I then had to lay on my back while he checked my strength and mobility. He was very pleased with how far I could bend my knee, as well as the muscle tone. I told him I've been working hard with Kendra.

Then it was time for him to remove the stitches. Four of the holes that he made had stitches that would dissolve. However, the large one below the knee needed regular stitches. This is the one he went through to remove the suture.

He wanted to remove them before they became a part of my body. While he was taking them out, I guess they proved more difficult than he expected. A few times he was grimacing and saying, "I'm really trying not to hurt you."

Well, as long as he wasn't sticking another needle into my knee, I wasn't complaining! Actually, I don't have much feeling on the surface of my knee. I guess whatever was going on, he must have thought it was causing me pain. I didn't feel a thing.

Once he finished, I noticed him doing something and then I figured it out - he was getting ready to put a bandaid on my knee. Why do I need one of those? I soon figured it out - apparently I was bleeding.

We then had a talk.

The previous two visits, I was either about to pass out from the pain (knee draining) or I was still a little loopy from being on the pills. I wanted to find out what my life is going to be like now that he's done all of that cutting.

Stairs: When I'm at work, my office occupies two floors. The stairs are right outside from my desk, and it's very convenient to take them. He wants me to avoid stairs as much as I can in the future. However, for the next four weeks, he wants me to put them out of my mind completely. I'm to take the elevator.

Appearance: My knee hasn't looked normal since April 26, 2009. I don't care about the scars on the outside, but I'm wondering will it ever not be so swollen? He said it will never look like a normal knee, but it will look a little better (compared to the other one). He wants me to get on a regimen of taking Aleve twice a day... for a very long time. He said it's not for pain, but for the swelling. I couldn't take this during the past few weeks because the body needs to heal inside without fighting the anti-inflamatories. Now, I'm ready. Hopefully this will do the trick.

Walking: He wanted to know how far I have to walk to get to work. I told him it's about two blocks from where the train drops me off. He asked if I wanted a handicapped tag - he has the form that I could get for 6 months. It's tempting... but right now I told him I'd see how it goes. Besides, it's so much easier taking the train from where I live compared with driving.

Exercise: He's told me this before, but my future cardio will come from biking... or swimming... or elliptical. My knee can't take any sort of pounding. I've really been pushing myself on the biking (stationary), so I'm hoping to try doing some outdoor biking in a few weeks. Jason has already said he'd bike with me once a week. I figured if I could bike on my own and then have a good "long" day on the weekends, that'd be a pretty decent plan.

He wants to see me in 4 weeks - 2 days shy of my 40th. Overall, he thinks everything is looking great and he said I need to keep up with the hard work.

That's my plan...

I think last time I trusted my previous doctor in that all I needed to do was to walk and everything would fall into place. This time around, I'm discovering that I need to work at it AND I'm encouraged to work at it!

I can see the results... my therapist and doctor can see the results. And hopefully, the harder I work, the more "normalcy" will return to my life.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm fighting for "my life" here. I want it back. Badly! And I'm very determined to get it back through blood, sweat, and tears!

Who Wants to See My Knee???

These are the pictures from my surgery. If you are squemish, then don't watch because they get a little more disturbing towards the end.

Otherwise, enjoy!

"What Are You Doing This Weekend?"

Would you believe I was asked that question 3 times on Friday?

Given my little "situation," I found that humorous. I guess some people were giving me more credit than I expected...

My focus this weekend was going to be on continuing my exercises. Period. End of story. That's it.

I wanted to be very productive with my time. In fact, I wasn't going to take the weekend off just because it was there...

As of Friday, I've been in Physical Therapy for one week. When I arrived, Kendra got me on a table and I started doing my stretches.

They had someone "observing," so she asked me a lot of questions ("What happened? Were you active before the accident? How much has your life changed?"). This girl was a student at the University of North Texas and was deciding if she wanted to go into therapy.

Oddly enough, after one of my exercises, my knee started bleeding. It was coming out of the left side of the knee - the area where the lateral release was. Kendra asked me if that ever happened before, and I said no. It's still very swollen, so the skin is just very tight around that incision.

I finished up on the bike (2o minutes and I got my cadence/rpm up to 55!), then left. I needed to go to the grocery store, and I wasn't looking forward to it (I was very sore). But, as soon as that task would be over, I could get home and rest on the couch.

Friday afternoon I did one therapy session, then ended up grabbing a nap. I think everything was catching up to me on the week. I was very sore and tired.

I spent Saturday working my tail off on the exercises, and I was able to ride the bike 3 times at 20 minutes each. It gets pretty boring riding the bike - so I play "Tetris" on my iPhone while I'm on it. Ha!

When I wasn't exercising, I was smoking... meats! I smoked two chickens and two racks of ribs. They turned out great - I'll give one of each to my folks. If you know anything about smoking, it takes 3-4 hours for each session.

Sunday was a mirror of Saturday without the smoking. However, I was pretty tired from Saturday's exercises so I only did two therapy sessions.

To me, I believe all of this hard work is starting to pay off. While I am much more comfortable when I'm on the couch, the knee isn't hurting as much when I walk on it. It's still big... but I think I'm starting to develop the muscle mass to support everything.

I have been thinking about this a lot - not going through therapy before, I don't think I had the strength to support myself (or as much strength as I have on my right leg). Thus, the traumatized knee was probably taking all of that weight...

At least that's what my "couch potato" thought process came up with...

This week I start back to work (Wednesday). I plan to work from home Wednesday and Thursday, then go into the office on Friday. My therapy sessions this week are Monday/Wednesday/Thursday.

Oh, and Tuesday I go see Dr. Ramsey. I'm interested to see what progress he thinks I've made in the last two weeks.

So if you're wondering, "What does Regan do all day?" - the answer is "exercise!" It takes me about an hour and a half now to get through a session. Once I'm through, I take about an hour break and then I get into it again.

That's my plan this week... at least Monday and Tuesday. When work starts up, I'll lose that time... Which is why I'm pushing so hard right now to take advantage of what I have while I'm at home.

Changing the Subject...

About a month ago, I shared pics from my Cruise. It was an awesome vacation, and we had a lot of fun. If you missed them, here is a link to the blog: Link

Well, above are the pics from when David and I went snorkeling in Cozumel. Given the heat we're going through in Texas, this is like a tall glass of iced tea!

Enjoy!

Making Progress...

Today was my 3rd Physical Therapy session, and I was really interested to see the progress I've made.

Since Tuesday, I've been a "focused indoor athlete." I went through a combined 6 workouts between Tuesday and Wednesday. That's a lot... especially knowing where I was this time last week!

I rode the bike 4 different times, and was able to get my time up from 10 to 15 minutes in a workout.

So, walking into today's session, I was excited to show Kendra what I've been doing.

Did you notice I said, "Walking?" Yes... I haven't used a crutch since Wednesday. And on that day I used it sparingly. It was weird leaving it at home... but I walked (albeit, very slowly) into the room with an approving Kendra following.

As I went through my exercises, I got a lot of "good job!" and "you're doing awesome!" comments. She increased the difficulty on that meter that is attached to my quad... it was tough but she said I did great.

When it came time to do my favorite exercise (heel slides - and yes, sarcasm!), she brought over the ruler to check my flexibility. On Friday I could only bend it 85 degrees. Today I'm up to 110 degrees... and our goal is to match my other leg, 125 degrees. She was like, "only 15 more to go!"

Kendra also introduced a new exercise - clam shells. I did that prior to the surgery, but I think she held back due to the stitches. Anyway, I lie on my side with my legs bent and together... then I lift the top one. She asked me to do 30 on each side. I did 50. :0

I then did 5 laps walking over the cones... I'm OK on that, but my balance is still off unless I'm concentrating. It's odd trying to learn how to walk straight.

Finally, it was time for the bike. Kendra said, "If you're doing 15, try 16... 17... or 18." Well, I did it for 20 minutes. It was tough, but I really wanted to press forward and see if I could do it.

More impressive, at least to me, was I could only keep the RPM on Tuesday around 25. Today I was able to maintain 45! I'm trucking along!

I go back tomorrow to see Kendra, and then I have 3 sessions next week again. She told me I'm doing fantastic. It's very motivating having someone that encouraging behind you...

So I drove home and I got a wild hair. I've been walking a lot in my house... what about on a straight-away? What is my endurance level... how far can I go? I put on my iPod and decided to try and walk to the end of my street and come back.

That was the goal... but I told myself I would turn back if it felt weird. Well, I made it about 3/4 the way and I was really feeling it. But, if you know me, I'm a bit stubborn. Seeing that the end of the street was just a little bit further, I pushed on but I walked slower.

Anyway, I made it. Down and back. I was very proud of myself.

The human body is amazing... last week at this time I was still using the walker and wasn't too excited about having to stay at my folks house (someone to watch me). I was hooked up to the ice machine still, and I was in a lot of pain.

Today, I walked to the end of my street. I biked 20 minutes... plus an additional 15 when I got home. I underwent two different workouts, and I'm being told everything is going great.

You really don't know what you had until you've lost it. I'm still struggling with pain, swelling, and general weakness. But, I'm finally seeing progress!

I can't wait to see where I am this time next year!

Still a Bit Swollen...

I've been asked quite a bit, "How's it going?" In fact, I get a daily phone call from my mom around 5 asking the same question.

So, here is my knee... in all its glory.

What you're seeing is it side-by-side with my right leg. I wanted to show the comparison.

It's still swollen, but I think it's going down a little bit each day.

You're also seeing 4 of the 5 holes. The 5th hole is just over the outside of my leg (if you see that white-ish mark at the top of the picture, it's just beyond that).

Each hole contains at least one stitch, except the one on the original scar - there are 3 or 4 on that one. Why so many? That's where he had to do cut out the sutures (from what I was told), so he needed to make a larger hole.

Most of my pain is on the outside of the knee. It is very sore to the touch, and has most of the swelling. This is where he had to cut (internally) my kneecap from the outside of my knee. This is also the area that looked like a sausage was stuck under my skin a week ago!

Speaking of, can you believe it's been 2 weeks? It seems like a month! I was still trying to understand/absorb the reality of having a machine attached to me at this time on the 21st. I was wondering how long this would be on me, and if it would impede me going back to work on that next Monday.

Little did I know how bad things would turn...

I appreciate all of the warm and encouraging comments. I think everyone is hoping this is it... this is the surgery/therapy that finally fixes this problem. I know I do...

As my cousin Lori says, "We gotta believe!" So, I'm believing it!

Believe with me!

More Physical Therapy...

Today was my 2nd PT session since the surgery. Had I not had the complications, this would have been my 4th.

Going into it, I wasn't exactly sure what Kendra's feedback would be. I've been feeling very sore lately. However, I've been working my tail off trying to regain everything that I've lost.

As you know, Kendra assigned me homework. One thing I learned is that PT is not just when you go to your session. It's "all the time." She told me before that this is my full-time job right now. Well... that's just about right.

The sessions are for her to see if I'm progressing, and what needs to be adjusted. The real work is what I do on my own between the sessions. This means I typically have a workout in the morning and two workouts in the afternoon.

So if I just educated you on what physical therapy is all about, then I figured I need to explain what the "routine" is really like.

A session typically goes like this:

I get up on the table and Kendra does a quick inquiry as to how things are going, any problems I'm encountering, and asking what my pain level is like. She also asks me to unwrap the leg so she can see the knee and how it's healing.

Physical Therapy, at least what I'm going through, is a lot of stretching. It's terrible and awesome all wrapped up together - terribly painful but it makes me feel so good.

The first stretch is called "Bridging." This is the one where I lie on my back with my heel resting on this foam "thing" for 10 minutes. It's supposed to stretch/align my muscles via gravity. By minute 7, it's really painful.

I next go through 3 sets of hamstring stretches where I push my knee down for 30 seconds and lean forward. That feels really good.

The other stretch I do is gastroc stretches - I'm given a dog leash and wrap it around my foot. I then lean forward and pull. 3 sets at 30 seconds each.

Then Kendra hooks up these electrodes to the top of my quad, which are hooked up to this electronic device. She sets it up where I have to flex for 5 seconds/relax for 3 seconds... and when I'm flexing this digital bar goes up. My goal is to try and keep it at a high level in the green. I do 45 reps, but when I'm home I don't have the machine so I just have to time it for 5 minutes.

Next comes the leg raises. Lying on my back, and with the device still hooked up to my leg, I have 45 reps where I'm lifting for 5 seconds/relaxing for 3. Again, I'm watching that meter to keep it flexed above a certain level. Today, Kendra commented that I'm doing a really good job and that she can tell I've been working hard at home.

Heel slides (see picture above) are next. I can't tell you how much I hate these. They hurt like a mutha. For 5 minutes, I'm pulling with the dog leash my heel as far as I can... holding for 3 seconds... and then pushing it back. Once it's stretched back flat, I have to flex my quad/lock the knee... then repeat. Seriously... these are the worst!

My next exercise is "cone walking." This is where I walk over little cones to train my leg to pick up my foot from the toe and land back on the heel... then lock the knee. After two laps with one crutch, Kendra came over and said, "Let me see that crutch." Once I gave it to her, she then said, "OK... let's see how it goes without the crutch."

Well, this was pretty dang awkward. I started walking with my hands out to maintain my balance. She said that was normal and that I need to learn how to adjust... so whatever helps me is fine. I went down and back twice and she said, "I want you to try and not use a crutch while you're in your home... but you should use it when you're out and about."

So, that's pretty good news I think. I don't think she'd push me more than what I can handle, and she must see that I'm progressing enough to get to this point. Amazing to think that less than a week ago I was struggling just to hang onto my walker.

Kendra then told me to follow her and we headed to the bike. This was a big moment - I really was interested to see what the "rotation" would feel like.

She wanted me to ride for 10 minutes... if you remember, prior to the surgery I could only go about 8 minutes and I was in a lot of pain. PRIOR TO SURGERY...

My first few cycles weren't very good... it locked on the first time around. Not a good sign. We then made a few adjustments, and I was then able to go around (very slowly) without it locking/stopping.

Kendra assured me that the goal for today was not speed (thank goodness!) but rotation. She wanted me to get the feel of going round and round. Well, my cadence was extremely slow... about 25 RPM. That's insanely slow, but I was just glad to be doing something... you know?

Anyway, I made it 10 minutes and the knee wasn't killing me. That really made my day. After I got off the bike, I was finished. I go back on Thursday.

My "homework" is to do two more workout sessions this afternoon and ride the bike once more tonight (I have a stationary in my house that belongs to my parents).

Anyhoo... there you go. That's what PT is all about.

Cleaning...

Last week, when my sister came to help out, she took on the "Martha Stewart" role.

Within a few minutes of arriving (after a long drive up from Houston), she started cleaning.

At first, I thought she was just doing my laundry and picking up the kitchen.

However, after a while, I noticed she had turned into a cleaning machine!

While maintaining my post on the couch, I watched in amazement as she cleaned the kitchen (countertops, sink, dishes, floor, appliances, etc.), dining room (dusting, baseboards, etc.), bedrooms, and living room.

She wiped down all of my baseboards, mopped the floors, ran the dishwasher, cleaned the bathrooms, and probably did (I think) 5 loads of laundry. She also vacuumed every room. It was a sight to see!

This all took place during the course of 2 days...

Both she and my Mom said "You need a woman in your life!" Ha! I'm not really a pig. I guess I just don't notice things since I have a housekeeper that comes once a month. Seems clean to me...

Rachel left saying she's going to remind me of things I need to tell Karen (housekeeper) to clean each month. Basically, giving her a little extra something to do each month.

So because the house looked so great, I decided to take advantage of me "sitting around" and scheduled for Dalworth to come out and clean my carpets and tile.

I used them last year, and the same guy (James) showed up today. He's really nice and extremely humble. One thing I like about him is he seems to really take pride in his job.

For the past 4 hours, I confined myself to my bedroom while James cleaned everything. When he finished, I was really impressed. The carpets look fantastic, but I'm floored (pun!) by the job he did on my tile. I've never had my tile/grout cleaned... it's a huge difference!

The carpets are still wet, so I'm just staying in my bedroom. Lord knows I don't want to slip on that tile from a wet foot! Probably will be "dryer" in a few hours.

Anyway, if you've been putting it off, look into getting your floors done. It's totally worth it! Dalworth had a deal for 25% off tile work and 4 rooms for $99 (carpet) - I'd bet other companies in your area would be running similar specials.

My Weekend...

Joel dropped me off at my house on Friday around 3, and I immediately took up residence on the couch. This would pretty much be my routine for most of the weekend.

I went through another therapy session (homework), and then grabbed a nap before Jason showed up to keep me company that evening. We watched Defiance (very good) and ordered a pizza.

Before he left, I had Jason fix up my ice machine and move it to my bedroom. I have decided to just keep it in there for the nights and I'd ice my knee with ice packs during the day.

Saturday I got up and decided it was time to start getting into a "routine" again. So, I made coffee and went out to get my paper. I realized I'm a very slow mover... normally I have enough time to come back in and read a section before the coffee is ready. By the time I made it back into the house, I heard the cofee finishing up. Oh well...

After eating a light breakfast, I started my workout. I went through the full session, which takes about an hour, because I wanted to finish it up before my parents arrived. It's hard to explain it... it's not difficult because it's strenuous, but it's difficult because it's painful. I just keep telling myself that the more I do this, the further along I'll be in my recovery.

Next, I hit the shower. This would be a different one than the previous showers - I was given permission to clean up without having the trash bag duct taped to my leg! You have no idea how great of a relief that is!

My knee is still very sore to the touch, but it felt good to get it cleaned up. The nurse did a good job, but I still would rather take care of that on my own.

Mom and Joel showed up and we went to lunch here in town. I had never been to Amelia's, and they had excellent Mexican food. I think it was a winner in their books, too.

They dropped me back home and I got back into my comfortable clothes and went through another session. This time I took longer with it... meaning, breaks in between the exercises. Which, of course, led to another nap after I finished up.

My cousin Lori called and we caught up (Finally!) on the events of our lives over the past two months. I haven't seen her or my other relatives in Beaumont since Thanksgiving 2008, so I'm planning a trip again this year.

Oh yeah, Saturday was my first "let's try and not take the pain pills" day. I made it through the day taking Tylenol every 4 hours. Again, trying to get my "normal" life back.

Last night I reheated leftover pizza and watched some shows, then headed to bed around 11. I also wanted to try something else out - no ice machine. You see, for the past 10+ days I've had to sleep hooked up to that machine. It's extremely uncomfortable, and I have to sleep on my back and the opposite side of the bed.

So I moved to my "normal" side, took a pain pill (figured it would help), and off to La-La-Land I went. It was an interesting night. I could feel the heat coming from my knee - it's like when you have a sunburn and you can feel your skin pumping heat out.

I figured if it got too bad, then I'd go hook up the machine. Anyhoo, it was fine. I did get a pretty restful night of sleep, though. I even slept on my stomach!

This morning was similar to Saturday - coffee, paper, breakfast, and therapy. Chandra showed up and I showed her my scary pictures (from the camera that went inside my knee during the surgery). Of course, she was grossed out and we had to flip them over after we were done. Ha!

She had come to visit because I wanted to get out. We went to lunch (Mexican - always good!) and then I wanted to go shoe shopping. If I'm going to start therapy and working out again, I wanted some new shoes...

I knew exactly what I wanted - one of three different options of shoes from Asics - so we went to DSW. They had one of them, but not my size. Next we went to Dick's Sporting Goods, and I actually found my number one choice.

Once purchased, I was pretty much done. My knee had seen enough of the "real world" for the day, and we headed home.

After Chandra left, I've rested and gone through another therapy session. I thought I would get a nap, but it got too late in the day. I've since made dinner and now I'm back on the couch (of course).

I'm still feeling a lot of pain, but not as much. My knee is still swollen, but not as much. But most importantly, my spirit is still heading in the right direction. I have a good attitude about all of this, and I see "normalcy" returning in the near future.

Thanks again for your support and encouragement...